[Poll] Sex Before Marriage -> With that person

By firey
in Poll Station

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Would you get married without having sex with that person?  

257 members have voted

  1. 1. Would you get married without having sex with that person?

    • Yes
      73
    • I don't know
      24
    • No I wouldn't
      156
    • Other (Really I can't think of why this would be picked)
      4

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Mentor

Amarok

Posted
Posted

Only said by those who have never had sex, or are ****ed that they aren't having it.....

Sex is only the cheapest... easiest... most pleasurable thing 2 people can do. It is vital for human evolution, production, and well being of the mind and body.

Only reaosn people wouldn't have sex before marriage is due to stupid religious beliefs. Those with half a brian though will be smart enough to understand that before you commit to someone for life, it is vital that you make sure you are as close to 100% compatible. Sex plays a very huge role in a relationship. If you say otherwise, you are probably single.

I know we have a difference of opinion on a lot of things, and this is going to be one of those things. I'm not going to give you my sexual resume other than to say that I've had 0 complaints lodged with the BBB (Better Bedroom Bureau in this case I suppose) because frankly that's tacky and disrespectful. I will say that I disagree with a lot of what you say based on experience. All that you said may be true for you, but it's not true for everybody. For me, and a lot of people that I know, sex is not the most pleasurable thing that two people can do, and it's not something for our lives to revolve around in the way that it seems to for a lot of other people. I know people that are obsessed with sex, to them it's the greatest thing in the history of the universe and they can't live without it and that's fine too. I'm not going to begrudge them that.

Thing is as I said before I'm older now, in the grand scheme of things I'm still young, and I have zero interest in a purely sexual relationship and almost as little interest in a relationship that's focal point is sex. If I just want sex that's quite honestly not an issue, I'm a chef, I have foodie groupies lined up out the door, the reason I'm telling you that is so that you know that I'm not just begrudging people that have more sex than I do. But I don't just want sex, honestly, truly, I swear on pain of death the ability to have an intelligent conversation and do things (other than sex) that stimulate my brain with someone is much more important and what I want. Because that satisfies me in a way that sex does not and never has.

Everybody has their kinks and everybody is different, so lets try not to belittle people that have different priorities than ourselves eh?

That said if my partner said to me "Lets wait to get married until we have sex." I would reply with "Sure, but do you have any unique fetishes that I need to know about in advance?" Because nobody likes unpleasant surprises, and if you can't talk to your partner about things like that, well ... probably best not to be considering marriage then is it? :)

Grand Master

Arkaic

Posted
Posted (edited)

If sex wasn't important in the years around 60... they wouldn't be making pills for it :p

And Neomon.... There are physical attributes that each person can have that can make them incompatible with each other. Some of us are blessed with huge members, which don't work well with some women. Some people have totally different sexual needs, and some of those needs may never be fulfilled because it goes totally against what another is willing to do. It is very important to find these things out before the commitment.

It is very unwise to make a commitment to someone for life, without knowing them fully....... It's like paying all your money for the best car in the world ( so you are told ) but never get ot test drive it or anything before paying... and what if you are too tall or short or fat or stupid to use it? The refund policy is a broken heart and half your stuff :p

QFT!

OP: what type of sex?

Grand Master

Sir Topham Hatt

Posted
Posted

No sex, no relation. Thats what i learned from past relations. It brings you closer and you get to know each other more.

Again, fairly shallow.

Sex can ring you closer but the way many people say it here it's like they think sex is the only thing that matters. I pity these people.

Would you buy a car without test driving it? Not unless you're stupid.

That's right, show us that you think women are merely objects that should be "test driven" before "purchasing".

Marrying a person without having sex with him/her would be stupid.

Without a reason, your opinion isn't worth very much. At least not online.

Sex is what glues and concretes the relationship.

And trust isn't?

If sex glues your relationship together, that's great for you I guess. But for me, doing things for each other, buying or making gifts for each other, going out to the cinema, the zoo, various other tourist attractions is what "glues" us together.

What happens if you want to be with someone else? You either are stuck and unhappy for the rest of your life or you get a divorce.

Why are you looking at getting married if you're not really sure?

Life is full of what-if's. A lot of divorces are simply down to bad choices people make. Many like the thought of being married but after years of being married they actually realise that wasn't the best choice they've made.

Somebody else can deal with that. ;)

That's right, treat a person as an object. . . seriously, men like this still exist? And women date these pigs?!

Besides, if you're really in love with someone sex with them is natural. Its why people call it "making love". I couldn't imagine being in love with someone but saying "sorry, your sex is no good, bye."

(Y) Love is so much more than sex. I find it funny that some people are mortified if they wouldn't be able to have sex in a relationship. Stop thinking with your penis and start thinking with your heart and head! You know you can have sex without love, but you can also have love without sex? The two are separate, once causes the other.

Only said by those who have never had sex, or are ****ed that they aren't having it.....

I say it and I am having sex?

Sex is only the cheapest... easiest... most pleasurable thing 2 people can do. It is vital for human evolution, production, and well being of the mind and body.

That's the whole problem with this generation of kids. It's easy, cheap and also causes lots of unwanted children. I wouldn't suggest your mind can imagine what it's like not to be wanted.

Mentor

Amarok

Posted
Posted

Mr Spoon, I'm somewhat of an optimist, so I kind of hope that eventually these young people coming up will have a much less shallow mindset as they get older, but I have my doubts.

For me there is just so much more to a relationship than that. If you're considering marriage it's obviously a serious relationship and hopefully you love the person you're with, as others have pointed out I can't really imagine myself telling someone "Well I love you, but the sex isn't the greatest, so later." or not being able to care about someone because they aren't good at it. Especially since it's one of those things where you get better at it with practice, and there's plenty of time after marriage (or before) to practice and improve eh? So just because the person I'm with might not be the best in bed, it doesn't mean that's not fixable, whether it's important or not.

Grand Master

shakey

Posted
Posted

Google it. I read seta-san, googled it, and found some articles on it.

First, mostly all those studies are done by "religious" groups who are going to lean towards the side of what their religion already dictates.... Can you post some real studies, not done by bias group?

Only reason most couples who wait to have sex are lease likely to get divorces is because they lack any real social situations to base anythign else on, and thus, think that what they have is all they should and could have. Can't blame those with experience for knowing what they want. Also, again, it is due to religious doctrine too.

Experienced

ShMaunder

Posted
Posted

spoken like a man who doesn't get any...

Congrats, obviously you didn't read the entire post otherwise you would know that I was referring to todays society, where people's obsession on sex dictates how others can/should have it. I took it out of a thread where it lost its context. Read the post.

Grand Master

rajputwarrior

Posted
Posted

Congrats, obviously you didn't read the entire post otherwise you would know that I was referring to todays society, where people's obsession on sex dictates how others can/should have it. I took it out of a thread where it lost its context. Read the post.

sex has always been a big deal throughout the history of time. not just today's society. just that North American society, espcially american, is full of prudes.

Grand Master

jnelsoninjax

Posted
Posted

I have had sex with only one woman, the one whom I have been married to for going on 11 years. Now I did sleep with her prior to being married, and the only reason (at the time) that we got married was because she ended up pregnant, and I wanted the child to have my last name.

Grand Master

Charisma Veteran

Posted
  • Veteran
Posted

This. As I get older and older I put less and less emphasis on sex. Though half a decade ago when I asked a woman that I'd been seeing for quite some time to marry me I knew that she wasn't the best "in bed" as it were, so even back then I didn't put much emphasis on it. There's a bunch of other stuff that matters a lot more IMO. Good head on their shoulders (I *KNOW* someone is going to just quote the first part of that.), ability to be mature when the situation calls for it, things like that. Grown up things, things that, to be honest if you're considering marriage you should probably be thinking about.

Ah, once again you are the refreshing voice of reason. Thank you.

Grand Master

Charisma Veteran

Posted
  • Veteran
Posted

spoken like a man who doesn't get any...

Wrong. People who get enough for their personal needs and are satisfied with their sex life aren't constantly talking about it. Just like guys with the big ***** aren't the ones going around bragging about the size of their junk, and the people with the most money often don't look or act like it. Being loud and flashy about something is a giant red flag that you're trying to compensate for a deficit, real or perceived.

I wouldn't marry anybody who didn't love who I am enough to marry me without forcing me into sex if I didn't want to until after marriage. (And no, that isn't what I am doing, although I did the first time, but I was young when I got married the first time.) It's the same reason I don't date much, I don't care to hang out with the people who only talk to me because of my looks. That shows me where his priorities are, and they aren't right.

Veteran

bogas04

Posted
Posted

One should leave something for post marriage period to keep it exciting :p

This 100 times over. I would have to get married to a woman and find out she wasn't good. It's be like FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU.

I don't know marriage is not ONLY about that :/ Were you marrying just to have a sexual partner at the first place? (these are my opinions , those are yours cool cool)

Mentor

Amarok

Posted
Posted

This 100 times over. I would have to get married to a woman and find out she wasn't good. It's be like FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU.

And like most things in life you get better at that with practice, so you could always you know ... work with your partner to make them better at it. Unless you're lazy, in which case you're probably not very good at it either. ;)

Mentor

Xerax

Posted
Posted

One should leave something for post marriage period to keep it exciting :p

I don't know marriage is not ONLY about that :/ Were you marrying just to have a sexual partner at the first place? (these are my opinions , those are yours cool cool)

Oh I know it isn't. But you wouldn't want to be stuck with someone had forever. With no choice of a "refund" ;).

And like most things in life you get better at that with practice, so you could always you know ... work with your partner to make them better at it. Unless you're lazy, in which case you're probably not very good at it either. ;)

Some people are just bad at things, no matter how much they practice (like me a football).

Grand Master

shakey

Posted
Posted

Oh I know it isn't. But you wouldn't want to be stuck with someone had forever. With no choice of a "refund" ;).

Some people are just bad at things, no matter how much they practice (like me a football).

There's more to it than just "being good" or practice. I had an ex who's biology just didn't mix with me for some reason. After sex, If I didn't shower right after, I would break out in red bumps where ever her fluid had touched me. I don't know what it was, but something about her body fluid made mine break out if I didn't wash it off in time. It was odd. There was also another ex who couldn't "handle" what I have, and thus, sex was something that had to be very delicate. It left me with a feeling for something more, because it wasn't satisfactory with what I wanted/needed.

These are all things that you really want to know before hand. Sex isn't everything, but to say it isn't an important aspect of human interaction, is just ignorant. If it isn't big for you, that is your thing and low hormones/libido. But for the rest of the world, most peoples sexual needs and desires are up there with sleep, food, and such.

  • 2 weeks later...
Grand Master

zeta_immersion

Posted
Posted

do it as many times as possible to as many people as possible .... as soon as you get married you have enough experience to please and be pleased otherwise might as well get a vibrator/fleshlight and have at it.... cheaper and exactly the same thing ....

Males are sluts (huge sluts) ... females are the same, I fail to see a good argument as why the man needs to sleep around and not be called a b!tch, and yet the woman that partakes in the same action(s) is automatically a b!tch.... damn doublestandards and hypocrisy

Grand Master

SirEvan

Posted
Posted

Just like everything else, you gotta try before you buy. Don't want to be stuck with a lemon or nothing. No way could I marry a girl without first having sex. If we were REALLY in love, I could maybe waive the sex in exchange for heated making out, but passion is a huge thing to me, and I want to know that shes not just going to be a dead fish after we get married.

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