poll [Poll] Sex Before Marriage -> With that person

[rajputwarrior]

That is a complicated question when it comes to India.

Here, most marriages are arranged. So the would be husband and wife have little to no time in getting involved in a romance and to have sex before marriage. Being sexually compatible is pure pot luck here :(

Discussing sexual incompatibilities is not most couples are comfortable with. Hence they bury the problem. I am sure this applies to many other countries as well.

and that's one of the downfalls of being indian, effin mom and grandma always try to hook me up...

[htcz]

Marrying a person without having sex with him/her would be stupid.

[Symal Taneous]

Sex has never been a huge part of the relationship for me. Don't get me wrong, I definitely enjoy sex, but I'm not with the person because they're great in bed, I'm with the person because I love them. If they happen to be horrible in bed, then we have a while to get better at it.

[seta-san]

it should be noted that couples that wait to have sex are far less likely to get divorsed.

[Billus]

Bad sex usually leads to a bad relationship as a whole (as well as other factors not related to sex). Sex is what glues and concretes the relationship.

[Biotoxic_hazard_835]

I'm an old fashioned guy.

[Max Norris]

I'm not a big fan of surprises, but I don't think I've ever ran into anyone who would actually want to wait. I'd discourage it, but if that was their choice I wouldn't be a prick about it either.. put my self in the "don't know" category. Then again, I've been married going on 20 years in a few months.. if something were to happen where I'd be available again, I probably would have lost the necessary equipment in the divorce proceedings anyway making this a moot question.

[+Nik Louch Subscriber²]

it should be noted that couples that wait to have sex are far less likely to get divorsed.

Please backup this claim with some form of proof. I call BS.

[ShMaunder]

As Hum mentioned in some thread - "Humans are too hung up on sex"

imho, marriage means **** all anyway (in terms of being a couple and not the legal aspect). What happens if you want to be with someone else? You either are stuck and unhappy for the rest of your life or you get a divorce. However, I know my opinion towards romance is kind of **** and way below the national average :p

Actually just going to edit this slightly to make sure I'm not sounding too immature. I basically mean that marriage shouldn't be something that keeps a couple together, love should be. Therefore, I think that marriage is only required from a legal aspect.

And another edit because my quote is out of context: I meant in a controlling way where people try to control other people's sex lives (was kinda referring to religion, but in the case of the quote, it was referring to a consensual law).

Edited April 26, 2012 by ShMaunder

[redfish]

Bad sex usually leads to a bad relationship as a whole (as well as other factors not related to sex). Sex is what glues and concretes the relationship.

Only if sex is important to you, or your relationship is built around it. And it really isn't good for it to be the glue to your relationship because you're going to be having it less and less when you grow older, have children, etc.. so you better get used to being with each other and not having sex.

Besides, if you're really in love with someone sex with them is natural. Its why people call it "making love". I couldn't imagine being in love with someone but saying "sorry, your sex is no good, bye."

[+Nik Louch Subscriber²]

I have to wonder, how many people here who are spouting nonsense have ever been married, or even had a regular sexual relationship

[a.mcdear]

Nope. I won't marry somebody that I haven't had sex with yet. If the woman is against having sex before marriage, the simple explanation is that she isn't my type of woman. Somebody else can deal with that. ;)

Anyways, sex is a must. And if you are in a religion that looks down on pre-marital sex, then don't get married. You can't have pre-marital sex if you never get married... its just non-marital sex then.

[ShMaunder]

I have to wonder, how many people here who are spouting nonsense have ever been married, or even had a regular sexual relationship

Yea, guiltily. I hold my hands up and say I've had nothing serious. Still, I won't change my mind for a very long time (i.e. I'm probably too young).

[LaP]

No never. I would not even consider it.

[shakey]

As Hum mentioned in some thread - "Humans are too hung up on sex"

Only said by those who have never had sex, or are ****ed that they aren't having it.....

Sex is only the cheapest... easiest... most pleasurable thing 2 people can do. It is vital for human evolution, production, and well being of the mind and body.

Only reaosn people wouldn't have sex before marriage is due to stupid religious beliefs. Those with half a brian though will be smart enough to understand that before you commit to someone for life, it is vital that you make sure you are as close to 100% compatible. Sex plays a very huge role in a relationship. If you say otherwise, you are probably single.

[LaP]

Only said by those who have never had sex, or are ****ed that they aren't having it.....

Sex is only the cheapest... easiest... most pleasurable thing 2 people can do. It is vital for human evolution, production, and well being of the mind and body.

Only reaosn people wouldn't have sex before marriage is due to stupid religious beliefs. Those with half a brian though will be smart enough to understand that before you commit to someone for life, it is vital that you make sure you are as close to 100% compatible. Sex plays a very huge role in a relationship. If you say otherwise, you are probably single.

I can't see how someone not having sex will not turn crazy after a while. Maybe it's not as important when you get older dunno but in the mid 30 it's still very important for the mental health imo.

[LaP]

Sex shouldn't be the make or break it factor in a relationship.

Of course not.

[Hum]

If i was inclined to get married, I wouldn't worry about virginity.

I know it is important to some people.

I respect either view on this.

[shakey]

I can't see how someone not having good sex will not turn crazy after a while. Maybe it's not as important when you get older dunno but in the mid 30 it's still very important for the mental health imo.

If sex wasn't important in the years around 60... they wouldn't be making pills for it :p

And Neomon.... There are physical attributes that each person can have that can make them incompatible with each other. Some of us are blessed with huge members, which don't work well with some women. Some people have totally different sexual needs, and some of those needs may never be fulfilled because it goes totally against what another is willing to do. It is very important to find these things out before the commitment.

It is very unwise to make a commitment to someone for life, without knowing them fully....... It's like paying all your money for the best car in the world ( so you are told ) but never get ot test drive it or anything before paying... and what if you are too tall or short or fat or stupid to use it? The refund policy is a broken heart and half your stuff :p

[Hum]

If I was inclined to get married, I wouldn't worry about virginity.

I know it's important to some people.

I respect either view on this.

[ShMaunder]

Only said by those who have never had sex, or are ****ed that they aren't having it.....

Oh dear, I see how that quote comes across when out of context.

I meant in a controlling way where people try to control other people's sex lives (was kinda referring to religion, but in the case of the quote, it was referring to a consensual law).

[Amarok]

Dont really care either way. If a person is honest with you, they will let you know and any surprises ahead of time. And if you are truly in love what that person, then looks will not be as important as you think. Sex is important in a relationship, but many put to much importance on it and to much importance on looks as well. Why there are way to many divorces these days...well, one of the reasons anyway.

This. As I get older and older I put less and less emphasis on sex. Though half a decade ago when I asked a woman that I'd been seeing for quite some time to marry me I knew that she wasn't the best "in bed" as it were, so even back then I didn't put much emphasis on it. There's a bunch of other stuff that matters a lot more IMO. Good head on their shoulders (I *KNOW* someone is going to just quote the first part of that.), ability to be mature when the situation calls for it, things like that. Grown up things, things that, to be honest if you're considering marriage you should probably be thinking about.

[seta-san]

Please backup this claim with some form of proof. I call BS.

i looked back over the paper. i was mistaken. It was couples that didn't co-habitate before marriage are far more likely to not get divorsed. I'll let you decide how much of an overlap that might have.

[techbeck]

This. As I get older and older I put less and less emphasis on sex. Though half a decade ago when I asked a woman that I'd been seeing for quite some time to marry me I knew that she wasn't the best "in bed" as it were, so even back then I didn't put much emphasis on it. There's a bunch of other stuff that matters a lot more IMO. Good head on their shoulders (I *KNOW* someone is going to just quote the first part of that.), ability to be mature when the situation calls for it, things like that. Grown up things, things that, to be honest if you're considering marriage you should probably be thinking about.

Also, someone may not look the same 20 years from now. If all you have is looks/sex you base a relationship on...then you are in trouble. Looks fade so you need more in the relationship.

[Buttus]

I put 'I Don't Know' beacuse.... i don't know!

if i was with a girl that was against it, it wouldn't make me break up with her, i think i could wait... but i'm not against it either