Ferret Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 One of me mates drinks alot, drinks atleast 5-6pints a night, he is in NO WAY violent towards anybody... He doesn't think he is an alcoholic, he thinks it's normal. He 'occasionally' breaks down into tears, I think it maybe something physcological, but he won't say. And his missus is worried about his health, money and she thinks that he's an alcoholic. He's a great person, and like I said, not violent, i'm just looking out for his health... How can 'I' help him out ? I really wanna help, but I can't think of what to do !!! Thanks, Ferret ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoLdFuSi0n Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 tell him to send me all his beer :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snocked Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 you are=you're, not your. It's funny how some people still can't grasp basic english skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Frett Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Ferret, He is an alcoholic and as a former alcoholic I can tell you that alcohol in some cases can be more damaging to your health than hard drugs like heroin. Don't believe me? Ask your doctor. At my hospital here people come in all the time with alcohol related problems like cirrhosis and cancer of the throat...The list goes on and it's not a funny subject either. But like I said, Don't take my word for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 Sorry, my bad - "You are an alcholic" Coldfusion - Constructive posts please d00d :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 Ferret, He is an alcoholic and as a former alcoholic I can tell you that alcohol in some cases can be more damaging to your health than hard drugs like heroin.Don't believe me? Ask your doctor. At my hospital here people come in all the time with alcohol related problems like cirrhosis and cancer of the throat...The list goes on and it's not a funny subject either. But like I said, Don't take my word for it. At this time mate, I will take your word for it... Which is why I really wanna help him, I didn't realise myself how bad it really is :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=SD=- Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 you are=you're, not your.It's funny how some people still can't grasp basic english skills. I can really see how that helped his situation out. :rolleyes: I'm not sure how to help your buddy out, but maybe this link is a start to learn about it. AA link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniPi Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 you are=you're, not your.It's funny how some people still can't grasp basic english skills. It's funny how grammar ###### put a period at the end of a line thats not a full, complete sentence. Can you say hypocrit? Anyways, back on topic: Does your friend ever drink by himself, like @ his house? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 myie2_user - "finally admitted that they were powerless over alcohol." I think he's at this stage now :( It's quite sad how people can get like this, but no one, not even his missus knows why it's come to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 Does he ever drink @ home by himself? Quite oftenly... Sometimes he will go out with his mates, and have way to much, more than the usual 5-6pins :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomwarren Veteran Posted October 20, 2003 Veteran Share Posted October 20, 2003 wow snocked wins the award for most useful post EVER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniPi Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Quite oftenly... Sometimes he will go out with his mates, and have way to much, more than the usual 5-6pins :( Then I would say he's an alcoholic. Of course he's not going to admit it, because he's probably 1. embarssed and 2. doesn't know what to do about it. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrope Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Yea. Snocked, by pointing out his mistake you accomplish nothing except looking really ignorant. We know what he meant without your amazing english skills.. I dunno Ferret. All I can say is talk to him. How old is he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FatCat Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 you are=you're, not your.It's funny how some people still can't grasp basic english skills. It's funny how grammar ###### put a period at the end of a line thats not a full, complete sentence. Can you say hypocrit? Anyways, back on topic: Does your friend ever drink by himself, like @ his house? I think IlliniPi just took you to school snocked :ike: about your friend , yeah he is an achoholic , if he cries there is something that's bothering him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 Then I would say he's an alcoholic. Of course he's not going to admit it, because he's probably 1. embarssed and 2. doesn't know what to do about it. :/ When he's drunk, it's not embarassing for him, but he still won't admit it... When he's sober, he doesn't think of it being embarassing, but still, won't admit the problem ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=SD=- Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 You could get a few good friends and throw an intervention party for him, tell him he needs to take some steps to get help... I am sure there are a few sites, or maybe in that AA link that show the best route of doing that sort of thing. Good luck to you and your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Posted October 21, 2003 Author Share Posted October 21, 2003 I dunno Ferret. All I can say is talk to him. How old is he? I've tried talking, all he says is "No i'm not". Prefer not to disclose age's, if thats cool wid you ! Ta :) "about your friend , yeah he is an achoholic , if he cries there is something that's bothering him. " There is something up, but he WON'T say, to no one, not even his missus :( Thats the worst, it's hard to help someone when they won't tell you what the matter is ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blaise Veteran Posted October 21, 2003 Veteran Share Posted October 21, 2003 His "missus" should join Alanon (sp?) They would be able to give her the best advice. moved to RWI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aem4162 Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 One of me mates drinks alot, drinks atleast 5-6pints a night, he is in NO WAY violent towards anybody...He doesn't think he is an alcoholic, he thinks it's normal. He 'occasionally' breaks down into tears, I think it maybe something physcological, but he won't say. And his missus is worried about his health, money and she thinks that he's an alcoholic. He's a great person, and like I said, not violent, i'm just looking out for his health... How can 'I' help him out ? I really wanna help, but I can't think of what to do !!! Thanks, Ferret ! You're cool for wanting to help. Try to get his wife to go to Al-Anon. They can give her lots of support because she needs it. I hate interventions. They make the person more defensive and less likely to try to get help. There's nothing like having your "friends" gang up on you. He's gonna have to make the decision to go to AA and to do that he's gonna have to admit that he has a problem. He might have to hit bottom before he will admit to anything. Bottom can mean losing his family, job, anything but it might have to come to that. You can't stop him from hitting bottom, either. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poind Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 (1) Depending on where he lives, what his workmates do, etc., such behavior might not be in marked social contrast to those around him, and make things more difficult. (2) Not to minimize his own situation, but I've seen some folk do much, much worse. (3) As others have said, the missus may find it useful to attend AA on her own to see how she may be inappropriately facilitating things, contributing to "co-dependency" in pop-psych parlance, etc. She may eventually want to try to get him to just attend something for interest's sake--not "signing him up" or getting him labeled as a "problem", just letting him hear what others have encountered to see if he might identify with something (or not). (4) Also as others have said, I'd be *extremely* cautious about putting someone on the defensive / trying to "break" behavior. This can backfire in a big way, and the resulting confused social dynamics can make things even worse. Depending on the individual, sometimes helping them find other interests, even be it exercise, other hobbies, etc. can be a constructive way to sort of distract them from their drinking routines. This can be done very subtlely, and stays on a track of positive reinforcement of "good" things. (5) Don't know quite how one could make the suggestion, but would be interesting to see if he can go just a week without drinking. If he can't, it *might* suddenly cause something to click in his head that he's not in control of things, which many don't like to experience. Ultimately, I'd suggest the missus try to start by going to AA herself, and, if possible, find a good psych person to talk with to maybe discover if there's something about social dynamics, etc., that maybe needs to be dealt with primarily. The drinking *could* be a symptom of difficulty dealing with an environmental problem rather than outright physical addiction. She needs to be aware of what she can do and how she may be contributing to something. Yes, there is an alcohol problem here if the guy's consuming this much daily, it's impacting his marriage, etc. For starters yourself, I wouldn't recommend facilitating the equation of alcohol=social attention in your own interactions. Do not drink if spending time around him. Find things that don't allow it to easily enter interactions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaBeeeenster Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Ferret, He is an alcoholic and as a former alcoholic I can tell you that alcohol in some cases can be more damaging to your health than hard drugs like heroin.Don't believe me? Ask your doctor. At my hospital here people come in all the time with alcohol related problems like cirrhosis and cancer of the throat...The list goes on and it's not a funny subject either. But like I said, Don't take my word for it. Heroin is actually extremely safe, if administered properly and in totally pure form. It is the impurities and the injectors lack of knowledge of the strength of what they are injecting that make it dangerous. Heroin is safer than paracetamol. Back to the post, yeah I'd say he is alcoholic. 5 pints a night is far far far too much. You have to ask yourself how his behaviour would change if he was tee-total...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DsnBehind Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 you are=you're, not your.It's funny how some people still can't grasp basic english skills. Calm down: it's a message board, not a college paper. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+John Teacake MVC Posted October 25, 2003 MVC Share Posted October 25, 2003 not all alcoholics are violent ppl, maybe he turned to drink because something bad happened to him in the past. try telling him to drink 5 - 6 pints of water instead and pretend they are pints of beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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