The Ashley Madison hacked ruined people's lives.

By Mockingbird
in Real World News

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Grand Master

remixedcat

Posted
Posted

cheeting is way different then downloading music... ok. music artists can get money back but you can't get a relationship back after cheating.

Grand Master

Ryoken

Posted
Posted

This information is no ones business except the user and their partner, and in some cases, not even the partner.. like with the several mentioned that were already in the process of divorce.

For damn sure it isn't the business of employers, coworkers, other family, friends, or anyone else who has their E-Mail address..

I'm just waiting for the inevitable story of someone killed over this. It's gonna happen.

Grand Master

Memphis

Posted
Posted

Morality is entirely relative and people are free to do with their lives whatever they please. If people want a discreet relationship then that's entirely their prerogative - people are free to judge them, as is only fair, but that doesn't mean they don't have a right to privacy. The hackers had absolutely no right to publish such information.

The people whose information was exposed are victims, regardless of what you think of them personally. Whether they are innocent or not depends on one's perspective and the specifics of the individual case.

While morality may be relative, I cannot agree that breaking the trust of a partner in a committed relationship is anything besides wrong. If you want multiple partners, find someone who wants an open relationship and don't hurt someone like this. That said, I agree two wrongs don't make a right and as much as I am not losing much sleep for this, if they caught them and I was on the jury, I would vote for a big s

Grand Master

Ryoken

Posted
Posted

 

While morality may be relative, I cannot agree that breaking the trust of a partner in a committed relationship is anything besides wrong. If you want multiple partners, find someone who wants an open relationship and don't hurt someone like this. That said, I agree two wrongs don't make a right and as much as I am not losing much sleep for this, if they caught them and I was on the jury, I would vote for a big s

The other issue is, there will be lots of people on this site where the partner already knew. But this leak still puts that info out for anyone else who knows their email or other details.

If their sole point was to make AM feel the pain, then release all their internal emails, ###### like that, but this is just a public shaming of people, nothing more, nothing less.

Experienced

TechJunkie81

Posted
Posted

I'm pretty sure their lives were already in ruin.  That's why they were on AM.

It was so shocking (sarcasm) to find Josh Duggar on there with 2 accounts.  Not only was he cheating on his lady he was also cheating on the woman he was cheating with.

  • Mockingbird
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Grand Master

FloatingFatMan

Posted
Posted

I'm pretty sure their lives were already in ruin.  That's why they were on AM.

It was so shocking (sarcasm) to find Josh Duggar on there with 2 accounts.  Not only was he cheating on his lady he was also cheating on the woman he was cheating with.

Whilst also fiddling with kids...

 

  • Anibal P and Mockingbird
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Grand Master

theyarecomingforyou

Posted
Posted

While morality may be relative, I cannot agree that breaking the trust of a partner in a committed relationship is anything besides wrong. If you want multiple partners, find someone who wants an open relationship and don't hurt someone like this. That said, I agree two wrongs don't make a right and as much as I am not losing much sleep for this, if they caught them and I was on the jury, I would vote for a big s

The problem is your binary absolutism - everything is either right or wrong with no inbetween. What if someone was forced into a loveless arranged marriage by their parents and doesn't want to get divorced because of social stigma? What if someone is being abused by their partner and fears for their life if they were to leave them? What if someone questions their sexuality and wants to explore that before ending decades of marriage and hurting someone they love? You also have to realise that some people simply don't prescribe to social norms and do not accept that cheating is wrong. One cannot apply a blanket statement to everybody who uses the site.

For some a site like Ashley Madison is their only hope of a happy life and now hackers may have ruined that, maybe even putting people's life in danger.

  • Jim K, +Random Stranger and Yusuf M.
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Grand Master

+Audioboxer Subscriber²

Posted
  • Subscriber²
Posted (edited)

The problem is your binary absolutism - everything is either right or wrong with no inbetween. What if someone was forced into a loveless arranged marriage by their parents and doesn't want to get divorced because of social stigma? What if someone is being abused by their partner and fears for their life if they were to leave them? What if someone questions their sexuality and wants to explore that before ending decades of marriage and hurting someone they love? You also have to realise that some people simply don't prescribe to social norms and do not accept that cheating is wrong. One cannot apply a blanket statement to everybody who uses the site.

For some a site like Ashley Madison is their only hope of a happy life and now hackers may have ruined that, maybe even putting people's life in danger.

 

Cmon, that is reaching. There is like a million and one different dating sites out there. If the end user chooses this site they have to be judged on the fact the website isn't simply for dating or finding someone new based on it's tagline. If you are in an unhappy or forced marriage, morally, you should seek someone else who is single to try and have a better life with. Not potentially someone else who is married given the sites tagline and agenda. Sure if you find someone else in an unhappy marriage and you are both willing to the best of your abilities to break it off with your spouses, but this site will foster a lot of people who just want to cheat.

Hacked or not, the choice to use this website is dubious given the plethora of dating websites with neutral agendas. Sure you can throw the greyscale moral chart into the mix, but as humans we should know by now cheating rarely ends without a mess, even if the mess is only for someone else you've brought into the mix. Just a part of human evolution that the majority dislike lying and/or cheating. Some may not, but I'd still question why a site like this is someones only hope of a happy life when there are a ton of dating sites.

Edited by Audioboxer
Grand Master

FloatingFatMan

Posted
Posted

The problem is your binary absolutism - everything is either right or wrong with no inbetween. What if someone was forced into a loveless arranged marriage by their parents and doesn't want to get divorced because of social stigma? What if someone is being abused by their partner and fears for their life if they were to leave them? What if someone questions their sexuality and wants to explore that before ending decades of marriage and hurting someone they love? You also have to realise that some people simply don't prescribe to social norms and do not accept that cheating is wrong. One cannot apply a blanket statement to everybody who uses the site.

For some a site like Ashley Madison is their only hope of a happy life and now hackers may have ruined that, maybe even putting people's life in danger.

Playing the what-if game again, huh?  Sorry, but arguing for fringe cases that won't even account for 0.000001% of the membership base just won't wash.  Almost everyone registered on that site was there to screw over their partners and have an illicit affair.  Whilst I don't condone the hack itself, I have zero sympathy for their marriages being wrecked by their own stupid and deplorable actions.

Grand Master

theyarecomingforyou

Posted
Posted

Cmon, that is reaching. There is like a million and one different dating sites out there. If the end user chooses this site they have to be judged on the fact the website isn't simply for dating or finding someone new based on it's tagline. If you are in an unhappy or forced marriage, morally, you should seek someone else who is single to try and have a better life with. Not potentially someone else who is married given the sites tagline and agenda. Sure if you find someone else in an unhappy marriage and you are both willing to the best of your abilities to break it off with your spouses, but this site will foster a lot of people who just want to cheat.

Do you even know how the site works? It's not simply for married people to have affairs with other married people - it is designed with single people in mind as well. Married people can seek out single people who are willing to keep any relationship confidential.

Hacked or not, the choice to use this website is dubious given the plethora of dating websites with neutral agendas. Sure you can throw the greyscale moral chart into the mix, but as humans we should know by now cheating rarely ends without a mess, even if the mess is only for someone else you've brought into the mix. Just a part of human evolution that the majority dislike lying and/or cheating. Some may not, but I'd still question why a site like this is someones only hope of a happy life when there are a ton of dating sites.

It's not for hackers to determine what is and is not morally acceptable. These people are victims. Are some of them sleazy cheats who deserve condemnation? Sure. But many others are perfectly justified in their use of the site.

Playing the what-if game again, huh?  Sorry, but arguing for fringe cases that won't even account for 0.000001% of the membership base just won't wash.  Almost everyone registered on that site was there to screw over their partners and have an illicit affair.  Whilst I don't condone the hack itself, I have zero sympathy for their marriages being wrecked by their own stupid and deplorable actions.

Nobody is suggesting you should have sympathy, nor am I suggesting that most people using the site are innocent victims. All I'm pointing out is that the people who use the site shouldn't be judged as individuals, not collectively written off as low-life cheats who deserve to be exposed.

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Grand Master

+Audioboxer Subscriber²

Posted
  • Subscriber²
Posted (edited)

Do you even know how the site works? It's not simply for married people to have affairs with other married people - it is designed with single people in mind as well. Married people can seek out single people who are willing to keep any relationship confidential.

It's not for hackers to determine what is and is not morally acceptable. These people are victims. Are some of them sleazy cheats who deserve condemnation? Sure. But many others are perfectly justified in their use of the site.

Nobody is suggesting you should have sympathy, nor am I suggesting that most people using the site are innocent victims. All I'm pointing out is that the people who use the site shouldn't be judged as individuals, not collectively written off as low-life cheats who deserve to be exposed.

 

Don't get me wrong the hack is terrible, do not condone it at all. I'm just saying the people who are saying their lives are ruined for the most part must have had something to lose (a marriage, multiple relationships) without there being consent. We can chuck the word morality away for now I suppose, and focus on consent of your other half for an open relationship. I do feel for those in arranged marriages, but where it's possible they should be trying to build up to doing a runner and being able to support themselves, not messing around on dating sites (that early on in the task to break free of an arranged marriage).

Grand Master

Yusuf M. Veteran

Posted
  • Veteran
Posted

Playing the what-if game again, huh?  Sorry, but arguing for fringe cases that won't even account for 0.000001% of the membership base just won't wash.  Almost everyone registered on that site was there to screw over their partners and have an illicit affair.  Whilst I don't condone the hack itself, I have zero sympathy for their marriages being wrecked by their own stupid and deplorable actions.

He isn't playing the "what-if" game. He's being realistic. I don't think anyone here feels sorry for the people that had affairs with the help of that website. Some of us feel sorry for those that made accounts without the intention to cheat on their partner.

  • +Random Stranger
  • Like 1
Grand Master

FloatingFatMan

Posted
Posted (edited)

He isn't playing the "what-if" game. He's being realistic. I don't think anyone here feels sorry for the people that had affairs with the help of that website. Some of us feel sorry for those that made accounts without the intention to cheat on their partner.

 

Well, whatever you or I may think about this whole story, suddenly it's taken a rather tragic turn... :(

 

Two Ashley Madison clients are reported to have taken their lives after hackers published their details according to police in Canada.

The police have just held a news conference about the Ashley Madison investigation at Toronto Police Headquarters.

"Today I can confirm that Avid Life Media is offering a $500,000 (£241,065) reward to anyone providing information that leads to the identification, arrest and prosecution of the person or persons responsible for the leak of the Ashley Madison database," said acting staff superintendent Bryce Evans.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-34044506

I certainly don't wish harm to come to any of the people exposed by the hack... Tragic... :(

Grand Master

Yusuf M. Veteran

Posted
  • Veteran
Posted
 

Well, whatever you or I may think about this whole story, suddenly it's taken a rather tragic turn... :(

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-34044506

I certainly don't wish harm to come to any of the people exposed by the hack... Tragic... :(

My goodness, that's awful. It happened in my city and the reports are unconfirmed but it isn't surprising. There's a great deal of shame associated with having an account on that website and having your personal information leaked onto the Internet for people to see.. well, it's no surprise that it pushed people to kill themselves. It's tragic and I would never wish death upon a cheater. It's an incredibly selfish and dishonest thing to do but I don't think anyone deserves to die because of it. 

I really hope other people don't kill themselves because of it. This is so awful and I don't think that even one death is a price worth paying to expose millions of cheaters. :(

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Grand Master

firey

Posted
Posted

I think the problem with this, and is something that I have had to deal with in my own personal life, the "Cheaters" the "Liars" etc are people too.   They did what they felt was the right thing for them to do in that moment.  They made a choice and went with it. While yes, it is something that "society" frowns upon and is considered awful.. it is no different than signing up for Neowin.   The problem is that in many relationships (including ones I have been in) there is almost a view of owning the other person.  A sense of "I don't want you do to that because it will make me sad".  

Really, what is bad about cheating? Like if we break it down.. yes it is based on hiding information or lying.  It leads to hurt feelings and a loss of respect.  But look at it like this: They may have cheated and lied.. but before knowing it happened did you feel any different about the person? No, the relationship you had with them was still valid and genuine (at least from your perspective) you got the love and compassion you wanted.  If you weren't getting it you would have left a long time ago... or found a place to get it.   I have been dealing with some personal things wherein I had to do a lot of reflection of the above and I've realized that regardless of what does or doesn't happen.. the feelings I felt and had for my partner were real, I felt loved, cared for, etc even though it wasn't your stereotypical relationship.. or the relationship that society says is valid.

People being hurt and sad are because they put their expectations on another person and when that person didn't meet or follow those specific expectations they were hurt.  It wasn't the act that hurt them, it wasn't their relationship that hurt them, it was the fact they put their feelings on someone else and were hurt because the other person put their feelings first.   As hard as it is (I know first hand), I know that cheating, being with other people, etc is nothing more than a choice.  It is a choice, I could be just as hurt if someone I cared about started doing drugs or chose to move to another country.

We also need to look at it like this.  If you have a friend.. just a typical go to the bar friend.. and you really like that friend they are a good solid friend.. does that stop you from having other friends? Does it stop you from going out socially because you have a good friend? No.. so why do we put that requirement and weight on someone just because we "love" them?  And really.. what is love?  Love is simply a collection of feelings we have towards someone that we group together and call love.  If you love your parents, siblings, grandparents, and your partner.. why is it all of a sudden you can't love anyone else?  No one in this world were "Made" for each other, while yes some people get along really well and can have a solid family and be happy being together.. had they never met.. the world would still go on for both of those people.  Also I think it's hard when you are the one being "Cheated on" because you are not experiencing the love and feelings your partner is.  You are simply feeling like "I wouldn't do that!" but really.. when you were single you did it.. or you would have never met your partner, so because you met someone you are no longer you? You can no longer make the choice you want to and be your own person because you care about someone else?  
Also you need to see it as.. yes they cheated, yes they lied, but that doesn't mean they don't still have feelings for you.  If they didn't they would have left, they would have just been with someone else.  However they chose to remain with you, and maintain the relationship with you.  Just because they have additional relationships doesn't mean the one you have with them no longer holds any value.

I mean.. I doubt many will read this or necessarily agree.. but as I say it's something that I have had to cope with and becoming... understanding.. of and realize that everyone, partnered or not is an individual with their own thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants.  Everyone is just trying to have the best life that they can. I mean, yes I respect my partners wishes and wants.. but I will still do what I feel is best for myself and I know that my partner is doing the same.

 

 

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Grand Master

Mockingbird

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Duggar's wife blame herself on his cheating: http://www.insideedition.com/headlines/11582-josh-duggars-wife-reportedly-blames-herself-for-his-cheating-will-stand-by-her-man

Dugger's sister (whom he molested) shares bible passage about sin after brother Josh's cheating scandal. (Oh, and she already forgave him for molesting her!): http://www.people.com/article/jessa-duggar-shares-bible-passage-sin-josh-duggar-ashley-madison

It was so shocking (sarcasm) to find Josh Duggar on there with 2 accounts.  Not only was he cheating on his lady he was also cheating on the woman he was cheating with.

 

Traditional family value at work.

Edited by illegaloperation
Grand Master

theyarecomingforyou

Posted
Posted
 

Well, whatever you or I may think about this whole story, suddenly it's taken a rather tragic turn... :(

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-34044506

I certainly don't wish harm to come to any of the people exposed by the hack... Tragic... :(

Sadly this was not unexpected. :no: Many who resort to using sites like Ashley Madison are unhappy with their life and do so out of desperation. It's easy to paint them all as sleazy, low-life cheaters but the reality is far more complicated. The hackers have blood on their hands and I really hope they catch the people responsible.

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Grand Master

Draconian Guppy

Posted
Posted

Bet the swinger couples weren't too worried about their partners finding out :p

:shifty:

 

On topic, people really, REALLY need to look objectively on things.

Hypothetical situation I'm willing to bet my girl would be ok if I asked for a threesome (MMF, FFM) and we used Ashley madison for said services. Now imagine my personal email was leaked because it was  my email of preference for my phone notifications etc?

(And yes I know, multiple accounts can be had, but not everyone is tech savy enough to do that)

  • The Evil Overlord
  • Like 1
Grand Master

The Evil Overlord

Posted
Posted

:shifty:

 

On topic, people really, REALLY need to look objectively on things.

Hypothetical situation I'm willing to bet my girl would be ok if I asked for a threesome (MMF, FFM) and we used Ashley madison for said services. Now imagine my personal email was leaked because it was  my email of preference for my phone notifications etc?

(And yes I know, multiple accounts can be had, but not everyone is tech savy enough to do that)

My wife wouldn't care, I've already told you about her :p

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