The Ashley Madison hacked ruined people's lives.

By Mockingbird
in Real World News

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Grand Master

Ryoken

Posted
Posted

Here's a read for some of you, shows some of the different sides affected by this -- http://www.troyhunt.com/2015/08/heres-what-ashley-madison-members-have.html?m=1 

My fav is the Church that is contact a users wife to tell her.. I mean really?

Grand Master

Memphis

Posted
Posted

The problem is your binary absolutism - everything is either right or wrong with no inbetween. What if someone was forced into a loveless arranged marriage by their parents and doesn't want to get divorced because of social stigma? What if someone is being abused by their partner and fears for their life if they were to leave them? What if someone questions their sexuality and wants to explore that before ending decades of marriage and hurting someone they love? You also have to realise that some people simply don't prescribe to social norms and do not accept that cheating is wrong. One cannot apply a blanket statement to everybody who uses the site.

For some a site like Ashley Madison is their only hope of a happy life and now hackers may have ruined that, maybe even putting people's life in danger.

I will concede a bit on this for two reasons. I recently read somewhere that a large chunk of users were Indian women in arranged marriages. Second, you have stated that your not defending cheating in and of itself so I can see where your coming from. I must admit I do feel sorry for the arranged marriage women using the site who are "found out". At the same time, when I hear something about for example Josh Duggar, I can only gloat.

  • theyarecomingforyou
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Grand Master

firey

Posted
Posted

 

Nope those people ruined their own marriage.

I'm not condoning the hack but let's not blame other for our own mistakes.

What makes signing up for a site like this a mistake? Would it not simply be a choice? If it was a mistake then it could be corrected no?

Grand Master

adrynalyne

Posted
Posted

 

What makes signing up for a site like this a mistake? Would it not simply be a choice? If it was a mistake then it could be corrected no?

If you being found out cheating because of a site like this ruins your marriage, I'd say its a mistake, both in cheating and using the site.

Grand Master

firey

Posted
Posted

If you being found out cheating because of a site like this ruins your marriage, I'd say its a mistake, both in cheating and using the site.


If cheating ruins your marriage then you have other issues besides using a website.

Grand Master

LaP

Posted
Posted

 

What makes signing up for a site like this a mistake? Would it not simply be a choice? If it was a mistake then it could be corrected no?

There's one thing you can be sure in life. If you cheat (or even just try) your wife will learn it one day or another.

Grand Master

Yusuf M. Veteran

Posted
  • Veteran
Posted

I will concede a bit on this for two reasons. I recently read somewhere that a large chunk of users were Indian women in arranged marriages. Second, you have stated that your not defending cheating in and of itself so I can see where your coming from. I must admit I do feel sorry for the arranged marriage women using the site who are "found out". At the same time, when I hear something about for example Josh Duggar, I can only gloat.

Not just people stuck in loveless arranged marriages. There were swingers that used it to find other swingers. And even physically-handicapped couples that used it to find other physically-handicapped couples. The site may have been marketed to cheaters but some people used it for different reasons.

  • theyarecomingforyou, firey and +Random Stranger
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Grand Master

firey

Posted
Posted

Does that make anything I said less true?

Yes and no.  Signing up for a site known for affairs and getting "caught" is definitely a problem.  It is however not a mistake.  Those who signed up for it knew what they were doing and why they were doing it.  My main point is that signing up for this site isn't an instant marriage is over!  Those that signed up felt they needed something they weren't getting or wanted something they couldn't just have.  Maybe they were in a loveless relationship, maybe they found out THEIR partner was cheating, maybe they just aren't monogomous by nature.  It doesn't mean that everyone who signed up for this site wanted to cheat, lie, and hide from their partner.  I wouldn't be surprised if a good chunk instead just couldn't express how they felt with their partner.  That or their partner was controlling, and condescending whenever they did try to talk.

 

There's one thing you can be sure in life. If you cheat (or even just try) your wife will learn it one day or another.


If you cheat you did it for a reason, if you and your partner can't talk about and be open with why it happened or is happening then like I said there are other issues.  I don't think it's so much about being caught, or your partner finding out.  I mean I often go to Walmart without telling my partner.. but I needed to go there.  I think we, as a society, put a lot of weight and bearing on our relationships and what is and isn't acceptable.  I think we let our own emotions control us without ever looking at why someone might do what they did from a logical perspective.

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