Spiders..


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A friend wrote this. So, real life, but so funny..

 

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Picture this, I'm in the bathroom, doing what we do in there but I'm wearing a kitchen apron because, well, kitchen crew. After a few tiktoks, I stand up and something tickles my butt. Now, we're at camp, home to a bajillion and a half spiders so naturally I assume that a giant arachnid has crawled out of hell and is now on my bare hinder, poised to murder me by poisonous ass cheek mauling. At this point, I'm in full panic mode and pulling a full on Tommy Boy airplane bathroom scene of hopping, spinning and swatting at my own naked ass. I'm also attempting not to squeal, so as not to attract the attention of the gaggle of teens in the adjacent room. Mind you, my pants are at my ankles, making my spinning dance of horror so very elegant. After I crash into the stall wall like a bull at the rodeo, spider riding me like a drunken cowboy, I grasp the tie to my apron, the very tie string that is tickling my gluteous maximus... Good times people, good times.

 

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