A note from my Canadian Friend ....


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It's the first day of school and the teacher thought

she'd get to know the kids by asking them their name

and what their father does for a living.

The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my

daddy is a postman."

The next little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a

mechanic."

Then one little boy says: "My name is Jimmy and my

father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay

men."

The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but

later in the school yard the teacher approaches Jimmy

privately and asks if it was really true that his Dad

dances nude in a gay bar.

He blushed and said, "I'm sorry but my dad plays

hockey for TeamUSA, and I was just too embarrassed to

say so."

:D

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Here's another hockey joke I recently received. :evil:

A Canadian hockey fan, an American fan and a Swedish fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled case of beer. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said:

"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Swede fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Swede fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The American fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can and thus was really tipsy), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the American fan crying.

The Canadian fan was the last one up (he had finished off the case), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your country has the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness", the Canadian replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.

"Tie the American fan to my back so he can get his ass whooped again."

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ROTFLMFAO !!!!!!! :D :D :D

Thats hillarious.

he almost finished a half-can and thus was really tipsy

They all deserve an extra 15 lashes for drinking beer from a can. ;)

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