Huge Problem!

[KC]

Well maybe it's not to huge, but I am my end's whit so I turn to neowin

I have been wanting Cable or DSL for ever, I can get both, but would rether cable cuz I just don't wanna deal with the telaco right now.

Here is the issue, I can offord it ect ect. My Girlfriend won't let me, I live with her and her parents, we have a kid together. NO matter what I try she will not let me get it. Now I normally just dealt with it, but it's becoming extremaly fustrating, when I want to do something, I have to go to school to do it, or go up stares and wait 30 min's for a 2 meg file to download on to some peace of crap machine and then save it 2 2 floppies.

Another issue is at work and school people are allways telling me to go here and download this, and that's great very help full, yet I always have to reminded them every day, that it's inpractil for me to download that 1 gig file, or what ever, I am not trying to fit in i just feel left behind, I have a lack of access to information and learning................

she says she don't trust me that's the issue.

[jb10fan]

damn women..

[glockfan]

umm how old are you (thinking this is a joke) well, move out would be a first then you can do what you want. have you done something for her not to trust you? /me still thinks this is a joke

[KC]

I am 19, I would move out, I just don't wanna leave my son behind for highspeed internet. and to the best of my knowledge i have not done anything to make her "not trust me" I don't know what there is not to trust me about? Does she think I would hack and go to jail or look at porn all day, I really don't know. We normally have a good open line of communication, but on these she is just throwing up a brick wall. It's driving me nut's.

[Guest Dclanz]

She doesn't trust you about getting cable man? That sucks. Your best bet would be to sit down and try to persuade her that it's important. :paranoid:

[glockfan]

Just because you move out, can't she come with you? or is she that attached to her mom? when you move out, and she comes with you, then get cable then, and if she leaves you over a cable modem then that is something to think about anyways....

[KC]

Originally posted by Dclanz

She doesn't trust you about getting cable man? That sucks. Your best bet would be to sit down and try to persuade her that it's important. :paranoid:

I have tried everything, from look Dear we could check to see if the stuff we buy for my son every get recalled or what ever. Tried the whole instant access to health info, recipes, yada yada yada....tried all that female stuff.............just don't get it.

Starting to think about just ordering it, seting it up and see what happens. But I normally don't try to be a dick. I starting to wonder if it's just a power play on her part.

[KC]

Originally posted by glockfan

Just because you move out, can't she come with you? or is she that attached to her mom? when you move out, and she comes with you, then get cable then, and if she leaves you over a cable modem then that is something to think about anyways....

I don't think it's about where we live, her dad is excited for me to get it, cuz he's too cheap and he know's that I would connect his machine to it too.

And I don't think she would leave me over it, just make my life pure hell.

[kintamanate]

i dont really kno how this whole bf/gf kid thing goes or livin in someone elses home like you do and your situation. but i really wonder what her big deal is that she doesnt want a highspeed connection.

you've said you sat down and tried convincing her. does she say why shy is so very opposed to the idea? i'd try this..if she give a con, u give a pro to the idea of having cable.

if you've given her the chance of thinking youre going to hack and dl porn all day, i dont know what to say to that. thats the internet. some of the first hacks were done with 14.4's or 28ks. then what? she's going to take away your snail paced modem?

if it means that much to you to have it and she cant see it... i dont know why she cant let this one slide...good luck:ermm: :)

[tomwarren Veteran]

Man that sucks, my gf who i have a daughter with doesn't like me using the net a lot either but she wouldnt say i werent allowed cable (even tho i have ADSL)

Try the old "I can block all the porn etc and u can have the password"

[Miran]

Men these days..

Dude, seriously - just tell her to shut up and do it. If you are paying for it, and you can afford it, then it's none of her bloody business. Don't be so whipped - there are some things you just need to DO if you want to earn any respect from her. Women respect men who are independant-minded enough to make a decision and stand by that decision no matter what.

You aren't setting a good example for your son if you just let yourself be dominated. Remember what you are - and this isn't sexist, but true - a man. I'm not saying lay down the law or anything, but if you want something and it's within your means and it's not breaking any laws, then just do it - it sounds like SHE is the one with trust issues.

[Faction]

She dosnt trust you to use the internet..

[KC]

OVer the past 2 day's I have came to relize that is' a control issue. She wan'ts to be in-control of every thing, money, yada yada.

She know's nothing about computer's and there-for she has a lack of control over that issue. I have decided to put my foot, down and do it, if she kick's me out over something so friviouls then I am better off with out her.

I will post back, on what happen's. Going to order it today.

Thank's Neowin!

[nomis_nehc]

:) hope everything went well for you

[hotrod]

I love reading **** like this. it reminds me to why i keep saying that i will never get married. if it weren't for that fur between their legs, there'd be a bounty on all of em.

you guys know what they call that little excess piece of skin around a vagina??

A WOMAN!! [/size]

[+primortal Subscriber²]

I think there are things that are going on with kxgard3 that isn't being said. Control issue just doesn't sit right, "she says she don't trust me that's the issue" is a clue....

[KC]

When we were first together I would browse a porn or two, but realy had no intreast in them. More concerned now about setting up my system for remote access when I am at work, downloading programs, ect. Maybe even setting up a file server. But porn is lame, boring would rether get the real thing.

I think it is a control thing.

[+primortal Subscriber²]

BINGO!!! When we were first together I would browse a porn or two. It isn't control, it is trust like you said in the first post. She doesn't trust you with that fast internet connection and porn. You have a lot of work to gain her trust back again and just 'putting your foot' down is going to cause more problems in your relationship. Offer to her of putting the computer in a 'public' room in the house were everyone can see what is being done on the pc.

Even though you are over with porn, it still an issue with her. In the begining she saw you looking at porn, so to her she feels rejected and hurt and that is never going to go away easily.

[configure Veteran]

Moved to Real World Issues forum. Goodluck with your problem :)

[Joseph Zollo]

You're 19 and you have a child, you're worried about getting hi-speed internet access?!

Perhaps its the adult in me talking...but perhaps that money should be going towards something else, like an apartment, or something to help your "family". I would think that you don't want to live off of her parents forever.

High Speed internet is small potatoes, fix up the other problems.

[altezza Veteran]

Then move out of her house :D

[Impulfusion]

thatsfamilly life...one whants this another this...and it will never finish but u need to be smart...:alien:

[postertoad]

My guess is that your correct and that its a powerplay [we all have to draw a line somewhere, some just draw it in funny places]. I would also hazard a guess that its not about porn but about time. She may be afraid of the competion, and she just might have a legitimate concern. I know a more than a few couples that went kaput [or had serious troubles] over a harmless little computer. Some people just dont get how a person can sit for hours in front of a little screen. I dont know enough of your personal views to give advice, but I can tell you how I won. My gf has a music fetish. When I was able to get her songs on demand, burn entire albums, get cd's before they were even released, etc.. THEN she became all gung ho. Now she's all about the movies and such. She still hates computers so I do all the work, but now she brags about me like I'm some kinda insider mafia elite. LOL [she doesnt need to know I just double click and save].

Good luck to ya man. Hope it all works out.

[Ruciz]

How old is your son? she could be scared of him getting onto the internet whenever he wants to and learning things that 'he shouldn't know.'

(I don't like people who shield people from the world, but sometimes it has to be done)

Heres my suggestion: Write about the goods and the bads with it. like you won't need to use the phone line to get online, you can be on and off quicker cause of loading speeds, you can setup programs so people can't access unacceptable sites (she can set the passwords etc for it) her Father would like to have it (possibly gift?) you can get all kinds of information about anything and its great for research when your son is old enough to learn... whatever else in your life that is a pro/con and see if its worth the battle.

If worse comes to worse you could guilt her into it, like "well I could find that on the net for you... wait, that would take too long" whatever.. if you have your own money every month to afford it easily get it for yourself and let her get mad at you, she will get over it eventually.

[KC]

I like the pro and con Idea, plus she get's out of school in a few days so she will be board off her ass. Give it another, shot, and if not oh well, there's more to life.