jnelsoninjax Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 A man has been in business for many, many years and the business is going down the drain. He is seriously contemplating suicide and he doesn't know what to do. He goes to his Rabbi to seek advice. He tells the Rabbi about all of his problems in the business and asks the Rabbi what he should do. The Rabbi says "Take a beach chair and a Bible and put them in your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean. Go to the water's edge. Take the beach chair out of the car, sit on it and take the Bible out and open it up. The wind will riffle the pages for a while and eventually the Bible will stay open at a particular page. Read the first words your eyes fall on and they will tell you what to do." The man does as he is told. He places a beach chair and a Bible in his car and drives down to the beach. He sits on the chair at the water's edge and opens the bible. The wind riffles the pages of the Bible and then stops at a particular page. He looks down at the Bible and his eyes fall on words which tell him what he has to do. Three months later the man and his family come back to see the Rabbi. The man is wearing a $1,000 Italian suit, The wife is all decked out with a full-length mink coat and the child is dressed in beautiful silk. The man hands the Rabbi a thick envelope full of money and tells him that he wants to donate this money to the synagogue in order to thank the Rabbi for his wonderful advice. The Rabbi is delighted. He recognizes the man and asks him what words in the Bible brought this good fortune to him. The man replies: "Chapter 11". Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
semifamous Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Fail for putting the punchline in the title. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589750534 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightyJordan Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589750536 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJo Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Surely a Rabbi would suggest the Torah not the bible? Fail +1 Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589750540 Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomis_nehc Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I fail to see how filing Chapter 11 would enable them with money. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589750604 Share on other sites More sharing options...
+BeLGaRaTh Subscriber¹ Posted September 6, 2008 Subscriber¹ Share Posted September 6, 2008 A joke that needs explaining to everyone that reads it is an EPIC FAIL ... Seriously what webs(h)ite do you get these from so I can avoid it like Chapter 12 <-- may or not be funny, but who knows what Chapter 12 is .... Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589750626 Share on other sites More sharing options...
primexx Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 had to look it up, not funny Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589750646 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Symons Veteran Posted September 6, 2008 Veteran Share Posted September 6, 2008 I got it. Not too bad. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589750718 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Hussain Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 someone care to explain? also, Rabbis give out Torah's dont they? as oppose to bibles lol Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589751086 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Diller Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 someone care to explain?also, Rabbis give out Torah's dont they? as oppose to bibles lol Chapter 11 deals with bankruptcy. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589751096 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japlabot Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Rabbi's give out a Siddur - equivalent to a bible in that it's a prayer book. They don't usually have chapters. A Torah is something else. I also don't see how filing for bankruptcy would make you rich. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589751996 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Lyle Global Moderator Posted September 7, 2008 Global Moderator Share Posted September 7, 2008 ohhh... See I didn't know that. Not funny when you had to look things up. So now he'll never get a credit card. I got to stamp this a "FAIL"... sorry :p Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589752018 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexandre. Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Meh, I don't have a religion so I don't get it either way :/ Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/666104-joke-chapter-11/#findComment-589752548 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts