[Comic] xkcd Thread

By +Frank B.
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

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Grand Master

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nolan_chart.png

Also in the right quadrant are NFPA-compliant chemical manufacturers and Sir Charles Wheatstone. Sharing the top with the internet libertarians are Nate Silver and several politically-active kite designers.

Grand Master

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server_attention_span.png

They have to keep the adjacent rack units empty. Otherwise, half the entries in their /var/log/syslog are just 'SERVER BELOW TRYING TO START CONVERSATION *AGAIN*.' and 'WISH THEY'D STOP GIVING HIM SO MUCH COFFEE IT SPLATTERS EVERYWHERE.'

  • 7 months later...
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cybertimber2008

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Thomas Jefferson thought that every law and every constitution should be torn down and rewritten from scratch every nineteen years--Which means X is long overdue

Also... this reply from shigawire is awesome, whether you know what xorg.conf is or not.

Okay, imagine a TV as an electron gun shooting at some glass someone has wiped some phosphor on it. On the other side of the glass is you, looking at the single pretty dot where the gun is pumping those electrons in until the phosphor gets all happy.

Okay, now take a magnet. Think giant ACME magnet like the coyote used to try and catch the road runner. Chuck it near the side of that happy pulsing stream of electrons, and watch it happily move like lemmings towards cliffs in made up Disney documentaries. Woohoo! You moved your dot to the left!

Okay, now put the magnet on the other side. Yay! It's on the right! It's awesome!

Okay, now become Superman. Or Superwoman. Or Supernotconformingtoyourbinarygendernorms. Move that magnet really really fast from one side to the other. Now get an ordinary human with ordinary human eyes (preferrably leaving them inside the human) and get them to describe what they can see. Astounded by your technical awesomeness, along with your spandex, they will see a line! As the happy little electron beam is pulled from left to right, and back over the same path.

Now if you shoot fewer electrons, you get a dimmer line. If you shoot more, you get a brighter line. But you have super powers now and you have better things to do than draw a line on the pretty bit of glass. So you go and genetically engineer 5000 hyperactive, but near microscopically small, super fast monkeys with magnets attached to their hands.

Lock them in a box with the electron gun and the pretty, shiny painted glass.

Choreograph for them a dance in 3 dimensions such that the magnets on their hands influence the beam just so that the result on the pretty glass is 5 minutes of "I Love Lucy". Because you're not very good at genetic engineering, they have a different amount of limbs than the monkeys other people have made, so you can't just use someone else's choreography.

They're in the box so you'll have to write it down for them, and won't be able to explain it in person. Imagine the monkeys can read, but only read Sanskrit, and were taught by a dyslexic with a speech impediment. Translate your choreography into words they can understand. Be precise, clear, and above all unambiguous, keeping in mind that your target audience throws faeces when bored.

Save it in a file called xorg.conf

  • 2 months later...
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