UK ONLY - Need photographer for FHM style model


Recommended Posts

Hi guys, I am looking for a photographer. It's a long term deal.

I need someone who is reliable / smart / proactive and good with the camera.

you will be working with one of the UK's top models - if you can shoot in the style of FHM/Maxim/Playboy then this will suit you.

I need someone who can shoot good pictures as well as basic video footage.

I need you ONCE A MONTH for roughly 2-3 hours. You will be working directly with the model.

In the time you have with her, we need photo's and video footage done.

You need to have your own camera and also your own location to shoot. The model lives in Derby and so she will be travelling down to London once a month for this.

Initially this will be non-paid. If you are good and we are happy with the video work and the photo's and your attitude, in the 3rd month we can begin to pay you for your time.

This is a chance not to miss - if you love FHM/Maxim/Playboy - want to shoot one of the UK's top models then get in touch with me

I need you to write me why you are suited for this job - I need your camera equipment listed down - I need a link to some of your work you have done - I need to know your age - I need to know what you do eg. studying/fulltime job? - I need to know if you have a location to shoot and where this could be

Thanks

Swiss Dude eh?

swiss-toni.jpg

It sounds very off that the photographer must not only do everything, but everything for free. Even down to organising? So what will the photographer get out of it?

And what are the images going to be used for? Who will own the rights? Will there be a contract right from the beginning, even for the free work to define who owns the rights, and whether they're shared or not?

It would be very easy for you to dump your unpaid photographer every three months, saying your not happy with the work and go on to use it, only to get someone else to do it for another 3 unpaid months.

A photographer for those magazines, taking that caliber of photos would usually be paid a few grand for a shoot.

I love dumbass ads like this.

"You like doing photography, therefore you'll like doing it for free, right!?"

1.) "you will be working with one of the UK's top models." - really? What's her name? If she's so good why do you guys have such a small budget?

2.) Are you REALLY coming to a nerdy tech forum looking for photographers? That seems kind of desperate.

3.) " I need your camera equipment listed down." Assuming they're good enough for the job, why would this matter? You wouldn't hire somebody without looking at their previous work, and if it's good enough what does gear matter? Nobody even asks me "I need a list of your gear" when they hire me for my photo jobs, and I'm not even working with "top US models"!

Anybody with any brains will steer far away from this. Good luck dude :/

I love dumbass ads like this.

"You like doing photography, therefore you'll like doing it for free, right!?"

1.) "you will be working with one of the UK's top models." - really? What's her name? If she's so good why do you guys have such a small budget?

2.) Are you REALLY coming to a nerdy tech forum looking for photographers? That seems kind of desperate.

3.) " I need your camera equipment listed down." Assuming they're good enough for the job, why would this matter? You wouldn't hire somebody without looking at their previous work, and if it's good enough what does gear matter? Nobody even asks me "I need a list of your gear" when they hire me for my photo jobs, and I'm not even working with "top US models"!

Anybody with any brains will steer far away from this. Good luck dude :/

I couldn't be arsed to type all of this, but yeah... ^this.

You must be having a laugh mate.

I need you to write me why you are suited for this job:

I'm the only person offering.

I need your camera equipment listed down

HTC Desire mobile phone, it has a 5mp camera with the ability to record 720p video.

I need a link to some of your work you have done:

The finest ***** I can post on Neowin without breaking any rules:

http://upload.digiex.net/files/t0h6qjh5k0333ftsk9s9.jpg

(Hotlink protection will not let me directly link to the image)

I need to know your age:

Age discrimination?... I'm legal.

I need to know what you do eg. studying/fulltime job?

Part time evil genius, I hope to be full time in the future.

I need to know if you have a location to shoot and where this could be:

My bedroom.

Final words:

I have a Domino's pizza addiction, however due to my harsh financial situation this is not something I have been able to afford recently.

You will need to supply me with a Domino's otherwise the pictures could be a bit blurred... due to my hands shaking from Pizza withdraws.

For the money you are paying I think i'm making you a fair offer.

I need you to write me why you are suited for this job:

I am good at camera, almost as good at as English.

I need your camera equipment listed down

Two (2) Homo sapiens sapiens eyeballs

I need a link to some of your work you have done:

cakeisalie.png

I need to know your age:

No, you don't.

I need to know what you do eg. studying/fulltime job?

I browse the internet.

I need to know if you have a location to shoot and where this could be:

I'm thinking we could get some really original shots on the moon.

Final words:

I'll need you to complete the preparations for the moon part. NASA won't accept my calls ever since I submitted my astronaut application to them.

http://upload.digiex.net/files/t0h6qjh5k0333ftsk9s9.jpg

(Hotlink protection will not let me directly link to the image)

That's either one ****ing huge cat or a tiny trampoline. And yes, I know it's an exercize trampoline, but it's still small in comparison to the cat!

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • How many other companies will follow Ford's lead? Or, have they already gotten lazy and become enslaved to AI--and now can't figure out how to get out of that mess.
    • Why would any self-respecting intelligent person follow any recommendation by Donald's GOP administration? With almost two years of fabrications, deceit, and blatantly illegal behavior, why believe them now? They had best be gone after the November 2026 election, so we'll wait and see.
    • AltSendme 0.4.1 by Razvan Serea AltSendme is a minimal, cross-platform application designed for fast, secure, and private peer-to-peer file transfers. It allows users to send files or entire directories directly between devices without relying on cloud servers, accounts, or any personal information. Everything is encrypted end-to-end using modern protocols like QUIC and TLS 1.3, ensuring both strong security and low-latency performance. Transfers are verified with BLAKE3 for data integrity, and interrupted downloads automatically resume, making the experience reliable even on unstable connections. You can transfer anything—images, videos, documents, and more. Integrity checks are performed on both ends, so your files are automatically verified for correctness during both sending and receiving. AltSendme works seamlessly across local networks or long-distance links, capable of saturating multi-gigabit connections for extremely fast delivery. With built-in NAT traversal and encrypted relay fallback, it connects devices almost anywhere. The app integrates with the Sendme CLI and will soon support mobile and web platforms. Fully free and open-source, AltSendme offers a lightweight, privacy-first alternative to traditional cloud-based services, removing size limits, upload costs, and unnecessary data exposure. AltSendme 0.4.1 changelog: Release Highlights Self-hosted relays: Run your own iroh relay so transfers don't rely on public infrastructure. Includes a full deployment template in deploy/relay/ with Docker Compose for a VPS and configuration examples for production use. Fly.io support: One-click deploy template for Fly.io, including a quick-start config (fly.dev.toml) for testing without a custom domain, plus production setup with Let's Encrypt and your own hostname. Relay settings UI: New Settings → Network panel to choose how AltSendme connects: automatic public relays, custom self-hosted URLs (with optional auth token), or disabled. Test connections, verify latency, and see live relay status in the footer. Disable relays: Turn off relay servers entirely when you only need same-network transfers (e.g. LAN). Direct connections only. No relay hop required when devices can reach each other. Android graduates from beta: Android is now part of the regular release cycle alongside desktop. APKs ship with each version (universal, arm64, and armv7). Other improvements Private relay access control via shared auth token Relay fallback notifications when a custom relay is unreachable Broadcast mode toggle in sharing settings Android release build fixes (split-per-ABI APKs, universal APK preservation) UI polish: mobile safe-area insets, dropzone layout, transfer progress animation Bug fixes for minification-related serialization issues and system tray icon loading What's Changed feat(relay): add relay status functionality and settings UI (a120cdf) feat(relay): implement custom relay server configuration and verification (51276c7) feat(relay): add configuration for private relay access and enhance observability features (48fbabf) feat(relay): enhance relay URL validation, display connection status (d4fffa0) feat(relay): add RelayChangeGuard component and enhance relay-related translations (16ba514) feat(broadcast): add toggle setting for broadcast mode in sharing UI (ca6d977) fix(relay): correct QUIC discovery port, pin image, templatize fly.dev (52a2ba5) fix: More broken serialization due to minification (67491a9) fix(android): preserve true universal APK across per-ABI builds (e9f256f) fix(ui): conditional safe-area insets padding on mobile (1182f0e) refactor(transfer): CircularRing component animation fix (944572b) chore(android): drop x86 and x86_64 release APKs, keep universal+arm64+armv7 (34ada0b) Download: AltSendme 0.4.1 | ARM64 | ~9.0 MB (Open Source) Download: AltSendme for MacOS | Android Links: AltSendme Home Page | GitHub | Screenshot Get alerted to all of our Software updates on Twitter at @NeowinSoftware
    • You are mostly right about the ephemeral nature of it. As I mention in the article, if you dont add a second device or take a backup of your account before uninstalling it, then yes you will lose access to your account. That said, in terms of actual user experience when you sync multiple devices your message history carries across and there's also a Saved Messages chat like there is on Telegram to send messages and attachments between your installs. But yh, what you point out are correct and its not trying to emulate Messenger or Telegram.
    • OK so SearXNG is a meta search engine that you can install locally or use via a public instance. It scrapes other search engines which you choose and then sorts the results. Not as complicated as multiple relays
  • Recent Achievements

    • Week One Done
      flexorcist earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Month Later
      Woland13 earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Week One Done
      Woland13 earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Year In
      bernmeister earned a badge
      One Year In
    • Week One Done
      Scoobystu earned a badge
      Week One Done
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      492
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      224
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      150
    4. 4
      Steven P.
      75
    5. 5
      FloatingFatMan
      71
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!