First review of "300"

By Ironman273
in Movie Ratings

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Grand Master

HoochieMamma

Posted
Posted
I just got back from seeing this at the BFI Imax, apparently the largest cinema screen in the UK. I don't know what the hell you people are talking about. The film is complete and utter ****. I really enjoyed it though, it was utterly hilarious.

snip

In fact, the only thing that made me enjoy the film was that the whole thing was laughable. As soon as you realise that virtually every line of dialogue is gay innuendo, the film is a riot of hilarity. I was crying with laughter in places.

I See, I see. So in every single movie I have seen where they utter the line "Kneel before me" / "Kneels down before him" it instantly means oral sex? Damn, how could I have been so blind! I'll make a note of that. When I'm in a war and I advise my men to start "watching each other's backs", that means they will start having sex with each other right? Am I right? :rolleyes:

Grand Master

Fred Derf Veteran

Posted
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Posted
That has to be one of the worst written reviews I have ever read. Wow.

It's appropriate for the movie. It is also possible that it was written that way as a deliberate put down on the movie.

[Thread Moved from the Media Room to Movie Reviews]

Grand Master

n3wt

Posted
Posted

I thought it was an average movie and pretty mindless.

The thing I never understood was them leaving out so much important historical context, to the point where the film didn't even make sense anymore.

How can you leave out the bit about the Spartans needing to buy time for the other city states to prepare? Without that the Spartans don't have a reason to stay at Thermopylae...

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Gabureiru

Posted
Posted

I loved the movie, my wife did to, and she just had one complaint: "I wished the 300 had won instead of died". That Spielo comments are very interesting, how he saw everything as Gay innuendo, he clearly has issues.

As a movie is great, as a great keep true to the actual history it isn't. But movies are to entertain not to educate.

So yeah, great movie, definitively buying it on DVD when it comes out.

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RootWind

Posted
Posted
I thought it was an average movie and pretty mindless.

The thing I never understood was them leaving out so much important historical context, to the point where the film didn't even make sense anymore.

How can you leave out the bit about the Spartans needing to buy time for the other city states to prepare? Without that the Spartans don't have a reason to stay at Thermopylae...

A lot of history is gone when you use the comic book as the source.

Grand Master

Sethos

Posted
Posted

That has to be the most disappointing ending ever! I mean ... Imagine the scene in Lord of the Rings where the 3000 horsemen are gonna charge saurons

and it just ends?! It makes no sense! They should've shown that last battle god damnit.

Also - They call it 300, they insist he runs around with 300 men ... But you see only 30 max?

Guest

Posted
Posted
I just got back from seeing this at the BFI Imax, apparently the largest cinema screen in the UK. I don't know what the hell you people are talking about. The film is complete and utter ****. I really enjoyed it though, it was utterly hilarious.

300 is, without doubt, the gayest film I've ever seen. Let's be clear on this: I never, ever use the word "gay" to mean "bad", I think people that do are the biggest ****ing morons in the world. I don't mean any single word I say as a slight against homosexuals and I have no prejudice agains gays. I'm merely describing the film in the way that I saw it.

300 is the gayest film I've ever seen. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain, but I'd put money on 300 being more gay. The film follows a large group of greased-up beefcake men who go to war because their king won't give someone a ######.

I'm not joking.

Basically, this guy called Xerxes wants the king of Sparta to give him a ######. He says that he will invade unless King Leonidas "kneels down before him". Leonidas refuses this, probably because Xerxes is a ridiculously camp, bling-encrusted ###### with a voice so stupid that it's a parody of itself. So, ###### refused, 300 greased-up beefcake guys go to battle in the most incredibly gay innuendo-laden film you'll ever see. The men contiunally talk about each other's "behinds", and "watching each other's backs" and being "right behind you".

In one of the only heterosexual scenes in the film, a woman gets ****ed in the ass. The symbolism throughout the film is genius though. The persians represent AIDS, and the film tells the story of the homosexuals' epic struggle against it.

The film itself is utterly terrible, devoid of any plot, apart from the ###### refusal I've already outlined.

The action sequences are all completely unoriginal, you will have seen all of them before. You know that bit in Hero where they fire all those arrows at once? That same thing is in 300, except the CGI people selected the arrows, pressed Ctrl+C, and then Ctrl+V several times. It's the exact same scene, only duplicated several times over.

You know the scene in Matrix Reloaded when Neo fights all those Agent Smiths? The same thing is in 300, except the CGI people selected the Agent Smiths, pressed Ctrl+C, and then Ctrl+V several times.

Every single action sequence has been done before in another film, they just took the existing sequence, and did it on a bigger scale.

Talking of bigger scales, seeing the film on the biggest cinema screen in the country added nothing to the film, since all the scenery comprises of glowing yellow blurs, and all the characters are just greased-up beefcakes.

The dialogue is diabolical, and the quality of the acting is laughable in places.

In fact, the only thing that made me enjoy the film was that the whole thing was laughable. As soon as you realise that virtually every line of dialogue is gay innuendo, the film is a riot of hilarity. I was crying with laughter in places.

You have severe issues.

Great movie.

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TheFlusher

Posted
Posted

I agree with ynnoj..

Btw, Just saw this movie again last night with other, and decided to up it to 4/5...

My favorite parts are: the king's slo-mo fight with his helmet on, the apple part, and the ending where the narrator/character is saying: oblieration/ good odd for any greek.

Grand Master

DELTETHISACCOUNT

Posted
Posted
300 is the gayest film I've ever seen. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain, but I'd put money on 300 being more gay. The film follows a large group of greased-up beefcake men who go to war because their king won't give someone a ######.

Basically, this guy called Xerxes wants the king of Sparta to give him a ######. He says that he will invade unless King Leonidas "kneels down before him". Leonidas refuses this, probably because Xerxes is a ridiculously camp, bling-encrusted ###### with a voice so stupid that it's a parody of itself. So, ###### refused, 300 greased-up beefcake guys go to battle in the most incredibly gay innuendo-laden film you'll ever see. The men contiunally talk about each other's "behinds", and "watching each other's backs" and being "right behind you".

Judging by how you look in your avatar, YOU'RE the one who need to give the ######.

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