First review of "300"


Recommended Posts

I just got back from seeing this at the BFI Imax, apparently the largest cinema screen in the UK. I don't know what the hell you people are talking about. The film is complete and utter ****. I really enjoyed it though, it was utterly hilarious.

snip

In fact, the only thing that made me enjoy the film was that the whole thing was laughable. As soon as you realise that virtually every line of dialogue is gay innuendo, the film is a riot of hilarity. I was crying with laughter in places.

I See, I see. So in every single movie I have seen where they utter the line "Kneel before me" / "Kneels down before him" it instantly means oral sex? Damn, how could I have been so blind! I'll make a note of that. When I'm in a war and I advise my men to start "watching each other's backs", that means they will start having sex with each other right? Am I right? :rolleyes:

That has to be one of the worst written reviews I have ever read. Wow.

It's appropriate for the movie. It is also possible that it was written that way as a deliberate put down on the movie.

[Thread Moved from the Media Room to Movie Reviews]

I thought it was an average movie and pretty mindless.

The thing I never understood was them leaving out so much important historical context, to the point where the film didn't even make sense anymore.

How can you leave out the bit about the Spartans needing to buy time for the other city states to prepare? Without that the Spartans don't have a reason to stay at Thermopylae...

I loved the movie, my wife did to, and she just had one complaint: "I wished the 300 had won instead of died". That Spielo comments are very interesting, how he saw everything as Gay innuendo, he clearly has issues.

As a movie is great, as a great keep true to the actual history it isn't. But movies are to entertain not to educate.

So yeah, great movie, definitively buying it on DVD when it comes out.

I thought it was an average movie and pretty mindless.

The thing I never understood was them leaving out so much important historical context, to the point where the film didn't even make sense anymore.

How can you leave out the bit about the Spartans needing to buy time for the other city states to prepare? Without that the Spartans don't have a reason to stay at Thermopylae...

A lot of history is gone when you use the comic book as the source.

That has to be the most disappointing ending ever! I mean ... Imagine the scene in Lord of the Rings where the 3000 horsemen are gonna charge saurons

and it just ends?! It makes no sense! They should've shown that last battle god damnit.

Also - They call it 300, they insist he runs around with 300 men ... But you see only 30 max?

I just got back from seeing this at the BFI Imax, apparently the largest cinema screen in the UK. I don't know what the hell you people are talking about. The film is complete and utter ****. I really enjoyed it though, it was utterly hilarious.

300 is, without doubt, the gayest film I've ever seen. Let's be clear on this: I never, ever use the word "gay" to mean "bad", I think people that do are the biggest ****ing morons in the world. I don't mean any single word I say as a slight against homosexuals and I have no prejudice agains gays. I'm merely describing the film in the way that I saw it.

300 is the gayest film I've ever seen. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain, but I'd put money on 300 being more gay. The film follows a large group of greased-up beefcake men who go to war because their king won't give someone a ######.

I'm not joking.

Basically, this guy called Xerxes wants the king of Sparta to give him a ######. He says that he will invade unless King Leonidas "kneels down before him". Leonidas refuses this, probably because Xerxes is a ridiculously camp, bling-encrusted ###### with a voice so stupid that it's a parody of itself. So, ###### refused, 300 greased-up beefcake guys go to battle in the most incredibly gay innuendo-laden film you'll ever see. The men contiunally talk about each other's "behinds", and "watching each other's backs" and being "right behind you".

In one of the only heterosexual scenes in the film, a woman gets ****ed in the ass. The symbolism throughout the film is genius though. The persians represent AIDS, and the film tells the story of the homosexuals' epic struggle against it.

The film itself is utterly terrible, devoid of any plot, apart from the ###### refusal I've already outlined.

The action sequences are all completely unoriginal, you will have seen all of them before. You know that bit in Hero where they fire all those arrows at once? That same thing is in 300, except the CGI people selected the arrows, pressed Ctrl+C, and then Ctrl+V several times. It's the exact same scene, only duplicated several times over.

You know the scene in Matrix Reloaded when Neo fights all those Agent Smiths? The same thing is in 300, except the CGI people selected the Agent Smiths, pressed Ctrl+C, and then Ctrl+V several times.

Every single action sequence has been done before in another film, they just took the existing sequence, and did it on a bigger scale.

Talking of bigger scales, seeing the film on the biggest cinema screen in the country added nothing to the film, since all the scenery comprises of glowing yellow blurs, and all the characters are just greased-up beefcakes.

The dialogue is diabolical, and the quality of the acting is laughable in places.

In fact, the only thing that made me enjoy the film was that the whole thing was laughable. As soon as you realise that virtually every line of dialogue is gay innuendo, the film is a riot of hilarity. I was crying with laughter in places.

You have severe issues.

Great movie.

I agree with ynnoj..

Btw, Just saw this movie again last night with other, and decided to up it to 4/5...

My favorite parts are: the king's slo-mo fight with his helmet on, the apple part, and the ending where the narrator/character is saying: oblieration/ good odd for any greek.

300 is the gayest film I've ever seen. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain, but I'd put money on 300 being more gay. The film follows a large group of greased-up beefcake men who go to war because their king won't give someone a ######.

Basically, this guy called Xerxes wants the king of Sparta to give him a ######. He says that he will invade unless King Leonidas "kneels down before him". Leonidas refuses this, probably because Xerxes is a ridiculously camp, bling-encrusted ###### with a voice so stupid that it's a parody of itself. So, ###### refused, 300 greased-up beefcake guys go to battle in the most incredibly gay innuendo-laden film you'll ever see. The men contiunally talk about each other's "behinds", and "watching each other's backs" and being "right behind you".

Judging by how you look in your avatar, YOU'RE the one who need to give the ######.

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Read this in Humor Simpson 's voice, "Out of my way Moe".
    • You still can, its just under the Transform flyout for WordArt now
    • Likely nothing will be done in corporate America, there have been countless Tesla self-driving incidents. Then again, there have also been countless human operated incidents. It's literally daily news here in Canada, to the extent that it's now odd if we get a day where a collision doesn't get announced on the radio throughout the day...
    • SKG Hand Massager with Heat OS500 hands on by Steven Parker I was offered the chance to test out the SKG Hand Massager with Heat OS500, and full disclosure, they let me keep it regardless of my findings. Anyway, I jumped at the chance due to my long hours sitting at my desk, mousing around. Apologies for the knife cut across the top of the box; that was my doing, being a bit too heavy-handed with opening up the outer packaging. First up, what's in the box: SKG Hand Massager with Heat OS500 1x Type-C charging cable User Manual 1-Year Warranty (card) In short, everything you need to get started. According to the official Amazon listing, here are the key features: Full-Hand Air Compression: OS500 wraps your fingers, palm, and wrist with multi-chamber air compression for a complete hand relaxation experience. The extended massage chamber helps cover more of the hand and wrist area than standard palm-only hand massagers Palm Kneading with 6 Modes & 6 Intensities: Built-in palm kneading rollers add a hands-on massage feel, while 6 preset modes and 6 pressure levels let you choose the comfort level that fits your day—from gentle relaxation to a firmer full-hand massage 3 Heat Levels with Cooling Fan: Choose from 104°F, 113°F or 122°F warmth to suit different seasons and comfort preferences. The built-in cooling fan helps reduce stuffiness during heated sessions, keeping your hand feeling fresh and comfortable Easy Visual Display & Smart Timer: The digital image display clearly shows massage area, mode, intensity, heat level, and remaining time at a glance. Select 10, 15, or 20-minute sessions for quick office breaks, evening relaxation, or everyday hand care Rechargeable, Cordless & Comfortable: A 3000mAh battery supports over 90 minutes of full-function use on a full charge, with convenient USB-C charging. The soft inner lining, smooth ABS/PU finish, and premium black-gold design make OS500 ideal for home, office, or gifting With all that out of the way, here are my own findings. I gave it a try on both left and right hands, and as you can maybe see from the above YouTube Short, (sorry for the shaky video), my whole hand fits in, but my wrist barely enters the Hand Massager. I was able to push through a bit more with my fingertips extending out the other end to get a bit of massaging on the start of my wrist. Usage For some reason, there is a strap that is very difficult to fasten to my wrist with one hand. I am not sure what function it has, and it isn't mentioned in the user manual. The only thing I could find was in the product images that claimed "wrist precision". Unlike the Bob and Brad Hand Massager, this device does not massage the wrist anyway, even though a "wrist mode" is mentioned, which must be for smaller hands than I have, as it is mainly intended for the hand and fingers. In addition, for its steeper price, there are no disposable gloves provided in the box, which is a bit of an issue considering the internal cover (which appears to be elasticated nylon) cannot be removed for washing; so you are left with only one choice: always thoroughly wash your hands before using it. I can imagine this thing getting a bit grimy after a period of use, and that is a bit of a shame. With that said, the buttons on the device, from left to right, do the following: Heat button: 3-level heat control at 104°F, 113°F, or 122°F Mode button: Auto mode Circular mode Soothing mode Relax mode Palm and fingers mode Palm and wrist mode Intensity button: from (First-time users) 15Ka, 25Ka, 35Ka, 45Ka, 55Ka, 60Ka (Intensive relief) Knead button: on or off (6 pressure levels) Power button: Long-press to turn on or off Cooling button: turn on or off the cooling fan Also, in the product imagery, it states there are 36 "custom modes," but nowhere is it listed what these modes are. I can only imagine that they mean a combination of all of the above settings in different intensity levels. The device itself seems to rely on a single "kneading" mechanism located at the palm area of the hand, which spins when in use, and the other massage features are mainly utilized through the air sacs, increasing and decreasing at various levels on the hand and fingers. I am not sure it offered too much relief for someone who is typing and operating a mouse for hours at a time; further testing may be required. It does feel nice, though. Finally, you may be wondering how this fits into the scope of a tech website? Well, let me tell you something: sometimes I sit for up to 15 hours working on Neowin, and although I take breaks in between, it takes a toll on my body. I think in the immediate absence of a partner to apply relief, a good massager like this Hand Massager can shed the strains of the day in just a couple of 15-minute bursts. On the official website, this has an MSRP of $99.99, but luckily for our readers, it is selling at $10 off for just $89.99 right now on Amazon. SKG Hand Massager with Heat OS500 for $89.99 (with $10 off coupon), $99.99 MSRP For me, this gets a thumbs hands(?) down. However, it could be improved by making it so that the protective covering could be removed and thrown into the washing machine, or get yourself some disposable gloves to use with it. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.
    • Thanks for the info, but I'm still not sure if I need this....
  • Recent Achievements

    • Dedicated
      Almohandis earned a badge
      Dedicated
    • Dedicated
      JuvenileDelinquent earned a badge
      Dedicated
    • First Post
      DrWankel earned a badge
      First Post
    • Reacting Well
      DrWankel earned a badge
      Reacting Well
    • Week One Done
      Supreme Spray LV earned a badge
      Week One Done
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      505
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      184
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      86
    4. 4
      Michael Scrip
      78
    5. 5
      Steven P.
      76
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!