Recommended Posts

Hello, thought I'd have a go at this here doo-hickey.

Having been playing GTA a lot recently, I was inspired by some of the spoof cheesy ads you hear on the radio and TV. On top of this, the English weather hasn't made for the best BBQs this year so far as per usual, so I thought it would be funny to combine the two.

Hope you enjoy! :)

Chris

BBQ_Dragon_Advert.mp3

Sorry everyone I have two posts but the audio clip is the same for both I was trying to edit my post to add the words so that you could tell what was being said, my mic is'nt all that great. Can someone delete the one without words so that I dont have a duplicate? Thanks, Lynda

Nogard Nogard Nogard

And, if I had a dragon

His name would be

Nogard Nogard Nogard

Dragon spelled backwards

He?d sing and dance

And work at my big back yard

Nogard Nogard Nogard

I don?t no pesticides

Nogard?s got an eye

He will set me up

Nogard Nogard Nogard

He would be my Hitch

Hollywood will want him

To cut back CG costs

Nogard Nogard Nogard

He?d be the next Ironman!

But he won?t take that offer

As he has some things

Things to do with me

And things do to for me

I?m a good man

And Nogard?s good D

Nogard Nogard Nogard

I will seek you help

People are dying

In China?s Sichuan province

Nogard Nogard Nogard

Please lift those craters

People need help

Cuz of Chinese earthquakes

Nogard Nogard Nogard

Please give them water

Olympics coming up

It?s a disaster here!

Nogard Nogard Nogard

Let?s fix these things!

We?d win all pet contests

We?d donate all money

Nogard Nogard Nogard

We just need some action!

We?d fly up in the sky

With a banner saying ?HELP!?

Nogard Nogard Nogard

Let?s use those wings!

We?d glide during the nights

Over people shivering

Nogard Nogard Nogard

No fire but steam!

And then we?d come back home

Wishing we could do some more

Nogard Nogard Nogard

We will rest for now.

Nogard Nogard Nogard

Need a hero like you.

Nogard Nogard Nogard

I wish you were real

Oh man, I hate rap, but I just had to try this for fun! XD Lyrics and the stupid beat is all original.

HDX Dragon would be cool, but someone please tell me if the "Nogard Nogard Nogard" annoys you even a bit by stickin:)in you head for a day or two! :)

Ugh.. my mouth and voice is dead from nonstop rapping the last hour!

Nogard_Nogard_Nogard___Omnibus.mp3

Okay, so first I want to say sorry for the bad quality. My on board sound decided that recording sound was too much for it, and then my PC didn't want to recognize my other recorder, so I had to record on my phone then transfer it over through that, heh.

If it's hard to understand what I'm saying, basically rub in friends' faces >> friendship >> end. Oh, and I say "fricken" not something else. Just for clarification.

Enjoy ;)

dragon_mreggsalad.mp3

Hi all,

Been a while. Here is my official entry. I was going to do three skits--I wrote them all out--but between numerous delays such as bad weather, family reunions, and total brain freeze, it took me awhile. So I only did two. If only I had another two hours. Sigh.

Anyway, enjoy the following skits. I know the first one is kind of hyper active, but it was the only way I could get it down to the required time limit. By the way the background sound is rain. Nothing I could do about it

Tim

P.S. Any comments would be appreciated, though I think I can predict the first: "I can't understand it." Also, bonus points* for anyone who gets who Sony Bifton is a spoof on.

*Bonus points are not redeemable for anything whatsoever.

SonyBiftonInterview6_Shortened_6.mp3

Edited by timmygyu

Ok, here its mine. Unfortunately in order to fit in the time, I had to "a bit" precipitate my voice...

I hope that because of that, and the integrity will be understood by my horrible accent. Below authentic text.

It was shaping up to be quite a party. In the last weekend we were sitting around with some friends at the lake and barbecuing away.

A moment later a huge, ominous shadow fell across the sky. Before we ever got a chance to see him, the fire from his mouth had already consumed half of the forest !!!

Only Ksenia was the only one to keep calm.

"damn it! I've only just started my sausage! No overgrown lizard is going to spoil MY lunch!"

With that, she went to fetch her handbag. Rummaging through its contents for a while (it's a woman's handbag, need I say more?), she finally produced her portable dragon neutralizer.

You never know when you might need one. she explained calmly, seeing our astonished faces.

She aimed with care and fired confidently. But... Relax! Ksenia, the good girl that she is, had set her weapon to stun. She didn't kill the dragon, which instead became meek as a lamb.

We spent the rest of the weekend flying around Poland on our very own dragon, courtesy of our free Dragon Fly airlines.

dragon_fly_airlines.mp3

OK, so just so that the judges won't be confused or anything. My submission is Post #74 (my first one). I was reading the guidelines and we should indicate which one we should have by post numbers. So mine is #74 and that is the one i want to submit..

Times almost up, Get those entries in guys! :)

Neztea

I had to edit my last entry. I contained a word which didn't match the context it was being used..

I would like to submit post 320

so I now present

Burning Ring of Fire 1.02

Change log

Replaced the word Bestow with Lay

Moved the cheering until after they he yells "release the dragon"

Removed the phrase "Come on sparky lets saddle up"

Removed the phrase "Men Get ready" and replaced with "Get Ready and mount the beast"

burningringoffire2.mp3

Edited by warwagon
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Microsoft making much needed change to Windows 11, 10 Patch Tuesday security updates by Sayan Sen Recently, Microsoft delivered its latest Defender patches for Windows 11 ISOs. These definitions are released from time to time alongside the general security updates available during Patch Tuesday. Speaking of Defender, the company has now announced another important change that affects how security updates are delivered to enterprise devices running Windows. According to a recent announcement, Microsoft Defender for Endpoint's endpoint detection and response (EDR) updates will no longer be bundled with the monthly Windows security updates or Patch Tuesdays. Instead the company is shifting delivery of these updates to Microsoft Update, bringing EDR servicing in line with several other Microsoft Defender components. If you recall, Microsoft last year moved PowerShell updates to Microsoft Update (MU) as well since it provides automatic updates for Microsoft products and services. Thus the move is intended to allow Microsoft to deliver EDR improvements and security enhancements independently of the OS's regular monthly update cycle; this should enable faster deployment of protection updates without requiring organizations to wait for the next Patch release. For those unfamiliar, Microsoft Defender for Endpoint's EDR capabilities are designed to help organizations detect, investigate, and respond to advanced threats across managed devices. Keeping these components updated is critical for maintaining protection against evolving attack techniques. The rollout has already began for Windows 10 devices in late May 2026 (last month) and Microsoft says it will gradually expand support to Windows 11 and the remaining supported Windows versions over the coming months. The company expects deployment across Windows 10 and Windows 11 to be completed by fall 2026 or around Q3 of this year. Once the transition is complete, EDR updates will be delivered through Microsoft Update using KB5005292, provided the required prerequisite updates have already been installed. Microsoft is also introducing a new Defender Update Service as part of the change. Following installation of the first update, devices will automatically create a new directory located at %ProgramData%\Microsoft\Microsoft Defender\Defender Update. Microsoft notes that restarts may occasionally be necessary in case of "rare" failure scenarios. For most organizations, the tech giant says no action will be required as long as Microsoft Update is already permitted within their update management strategy. Admins who rely on manually deployed update packages, however, will need to adjust their processes to ensure the new Defender update package is included. Microsoft also recommends reviewing internal documentation and notifying helpdesk and security operations teams about the updated delivery mechanism to avoid confusion during the transition. As a prerequisite, the tech giant notes that systems must be running Sense version 10.8798.25857.1000 or later and have one of the following Windows updates (or later) installed: Win11 24H2 KB5062660 (2025-07 Cumulative Update Preview) Win11 23H2 KB5062663 (2025-07 Cumulative Update Preview) Win11 22H2 KB5062663 (2025-07 Cumulative Update Preview) Win10 22H2 KB5062649 (2025-07 Cumulative Update Preview) Win10 1809 KB5063877 (2025-08 Cumulative Update) Server 2019 KB5063877 (2025-08 Cumulative Update) Server 2022 KB5063880 (2025-08 Cumulative Update) Server 2025 KB5063878 (2025-08 Cumulative Update) As always, organizations should verify that their update policies align with the new servicing approach before the broader rollout reaches all supported Windows platforms later this year. In case of major problems, the EDR update can be rolled back to the inbox version stored in %ProgramFiles%\\Windows Defender Advanced Threat Protection (ATP) using: MpCmdRun.exe -RevertMde -Product Edr -ToVersion Inbox For those who have access to the Microsoft 365 Admin Center portal, you can view the message here under ID MC1381119.
    • My problem with these smart scopes is that IMO they're not really an entrance into astronomy, they're an entrance to looking at pretty(ish) pictures that you take by essentially pressing a button and letting the scope do the work. I still maintain that getting some binoculars or a solid dedicated telescope (which doesn't have to mean expensive) and actually spending time learning the night sky and using a telescope is a much better way to actually learn. But, granted, the learning curve is a bit steeper (as it tends to be).
    • I never played Crazy Taxi before, but this looks like a fun game!
    • The perception of Microsoft Edge is unfortunate as it's a world class browser. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's the best browser I've ever used with its feature set, speed, reliability and advanced security. Running the extension Ublock Origin is a must though to deal with advertising and trackers.
    • You can check out our latest 9070 GRE review with scores for the XT too, but these are on Windows: Gaming performance Productivity performance
  • Recent Achievements

    • One Month Later
      DJC50PLUS earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Week One Done
      DJC50PLUS earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Proficient
      Eric Biran went up a rank
      Proficient
    • Dedicated
      Conjor earned a badge
      Dedicated
    • Week One Done
      Windows Guy earned a badge
      Week One Done
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      493
    2. 2
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      248
    3. 3
      Steven P.
      73
    4. 4
      +Edouard
      69
    5. 5
      neufuse
      68
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!