Roger H. Veteran Posted February 1, 2011 Veteran Share Posted February 1, 2011 I always say parent's that are scared of getting in trouble with the law will be scared of their kids when they get older. I'm in my 20s now and i've NEVER said the word "damn" or any curse infront of my mom. She used to spank me as a kid for saying such words and I learned to speak properly without having to use such words to complete a sentence. By the time i was 12/13 I was already bigger than my mom so she couldn't catch me to spank me or even hold me long enough since I was bigger than her by then. She however could give me a look and I immediately would stop being a bad kid and be quiet. My friend has her kids at 13 and 15 and she has no control over them for the simple fact that she didn't discipline them when they were younger. Kids are going to rebel no matter what but if they fear you or love you doesn't matter, they should respect you either way. Look, i don't believe you should have to spank kids or put hot sauce in their mouth but you should definitely do something however. After a while, putting the kid in timeout doesn't work. What makes it worse is parents feeling sad for the kid after punishing them. If you are punishing the kid then show no love then, after punishment is over then you can let them know that you still love them and they were punished because they were bad, not cuz you didn't love the kid. Fact is, if the kid was being so bad and nothing she did would make em stop, if she called the cops to tell them the kid wont stop cussing they would ask her if she's that bad of a parent that she can't control her own kid. The cops wouldn't be coming there to tell the kid to stop cursing or whatever. As for the police "protecting the kids" - it's like the "mommy" thing. If the kid knows he can get away with murder (not literally) because mommy will argue with daddy when he tries to punish the kid then that kid will always be getting in trouble and daddy can't stop it. Prison population is exploding because of parents afraid to punish kids cuz kids know they can call cops and that's that. My same friend above had both her young kids fighting the other day and she's so tiny trying to break them up and she got scratches and bruises all over because they are just much bigger than her. She had to call the cops and now those kids have court dates and all that. This ruins her status at her new job that's taking so long to get because of the economy because she has to take them to court and she has to be present too so the judge can talk to them and all that. They are already in councelling too which is also another thing to do costing money and time that she doesnt have. (She is a single mom after being married and having a deadbeat ex-husband father of her kids, he doesn't help or see them anymore and child support court is another thing she has to be dealing with now taking more time away from new job) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techbeck Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 As a parent you have to find the hook that will get your kids attention. The hot sauce really didn't get his attention too much. No crying, wiggling or sobbing. The shower on the other hand got his attention. It may make him thing twice about what he did next time. Just my opinion Agreed...as long as it doesnt scar the kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beyond Godlike Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 That kids gonna grow up with problems. Hope that mother gets hot sauced in the eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbas Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 what a piece of trash that woman is. should have the kids removed permanently. wouldn't mind slipping into my uniform and giving her a proper military dress down several times worse then she done to that kid and see how she likes it. maybe it's borderline child abuse but it's not acceptable for a parent to rule over kids with fear and endangerment. Homes are places for family's, not a dictatorship. Sorry but I have to disagree. It is a dictatorship. Especially now days. They all think they are entitled to everything. They expect things without having to earn them. It's one thing to rule with an iron fist and micro-manage but it's quite another to enforce respect and the idea that hard work will net you more than being a slug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovell Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Good, means he fears and respects his parents..at least he is starting to. Curious how he was before the hot sauce. Regardless, I doubt he was scared physically, or emotionally. Maybe next time the kid wont lie. And growing up, I did not like taking showers so know what my dad did? He put me in the shower and a lot of times it was cold. Nothing happened to me other that being ****ed that my dad made me do something that I didnt want to do. Fear and respect are 2 different things, he even said the reason he lied was because he was scared what she would do, so how is punishing him going to stop him from lying? if he lies there's a chance he gets away with it if he tells the truth then he's going to get punished which would you do? so when the only reason he's lying is because of fear of been punished then surely it's counter productive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djnv2010 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 waaaa, please. Kids are so soft and really babies these days. Kids have no fear of their parents either. Why? Because parents are not being..ohhh, whats the word...PARENTS! TV, music, games....all these things now parent the kids as the parents are to damn busy to watch their kids and raise them. I misbehaved, I got spanked. I said something bad, I got castor oil in the mouth. I had respect for my parents because they were real parents. I didnt watch TV all the time or play games hardly ever. Granted thats when PC gaming was starting as well as the older nintendos...but still. Anyway, as long as the kid deserved the hot sauce/cold water...good for the parent. People need to mind their own business +1000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbas Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Agreed...as long as it doesnt scar the kids. Exactly and I will bet you anything that if it happens a couple more times that kid will be rolling his eyes at a cold shower. And THAT is the dilema for parents. Paying attention and knowing what will get your kids attention the most...it is always changing. Let me tell a short story of what I'm talking about...and it was funny. My kid (10) leaves her clothes all over her bedroom (like all kids). My wife started telling her that for every piece of clothing left on the floor it would cost her 25 cents. My kid loves money so it would break her down and she would cry every single time she lost a quarter. Sometimes she would lose a dollar or two...histerics. After about 3-4 months of this she had left a few items on the floor and we jumped on her for it...about 75 cents worth. She disappeared in her room and came back a minute later and SLAMMED down a 5 dollar bill from her piggybank and said to my wife "this should last me for awhile". I disappeared into the closet because I didn't want to laugh in front of them. The moral of the story is that the "hook" is ever changing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashel Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I disagree with the notion that all physical punishment is wrong. I do think it can be more creative than spankings/caning though as this woman shows (I think cold showers or having to work out in the cold are good alternatives). This is a physical world, only verbal doesn't cut it. Personally, I don't do anything Pei Mei wouldn't so my kids know not to flash a defiant eye to me lest they loose it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucas Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbas Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Fear and respect are 2 different things, he even said the reason he lied was because he was scared what she would do, so how is punishing him going to stop him from lying? if he lies there's a chance he gets away with it if he tells the truth then he's going to get punished which would you do? so when the only reason he's lying is because of fear of been punished then surely it's counter productive? But of course, that is always the kids fall back answer. He should be scared of getting in trouble. The point is he should be more scared of getting in trouble than doing something wrong. I don't know how many times I said as a kid "I'm not going to do that because I don't want to get in trouble". I feel he will learn. What we didn't see is what she did after the punishment. What did she do and hour after. Did she talk to him and explain more. This is really where the lesson is driven home, IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
De.Bug Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Doesn't matter if you like the taste of soap or hot sauce, forcing some kind of physical discipline on a child like that is wrong. +1000 All punishment should be in the mind (Go sit in the corner kind of stuff). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Patriot Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 It's a tough issue this. Personally I do feel however that with so many kids these days being able to do what they please because of the lack of ability parents have to punish them, it's creating a dangerous culture. Wow, something you and I agree on? People from 40 years or more ago would laugh at the way that children are "supposed to be" raised today. I'm 39 and I certainly remember the days when parents were allowed to discipline their children without fear of busybodies reporting them to the authorities. Ever notice that school shootings, increased teen pregnancies, gang activity, and just about every other problem affecting teens these days didn't really take off until the 80's or 90's, when this PC garbage of not punishing children for bad behavior (and equating punishment with abuse) started? My sons will be 5 and 2 this month, and both of them know that they will be spanked if they do something wrong. They also know that they are loved and that I will always do everthing in my power to protect them from harm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbas Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 +1000 All punishment should be in the mind (Go sit in the corner kind of stuff). lol, sorry but sitting in the corner is pointless. My parent tried that and what a waste of time for both of us. After awhile they knew that that punishment was feeble. As matter of fact, if they left me in the corner too long I probably would have started picking a whole in the wall from bordom...lol Wow, something you and I agree on? People from 40 years or more ago would laugh at the way that children are "supposed to be" raised today. I'm 39 and I certainly remember the days when parents were allowed to discipline their children without fear of busybodies reporting them to the authorities. Ever notice that school shootings, increased teen pregnancies, gang activity, and just about every other problem affecting teens these days didn't really take off until the 80's or 90's, when this PC garbage of not punishing children for bad behavior (and equating punishment with abuse) started? My sons will be 5 and 2 this month, and both of them know that they will be spanked if they do something wrong. They also know that they are loved and that I will always do everthing in my power to protect them from harm. +1...this...exactly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WelshBluebird Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Meh. Maybe I was just a decent kid, but the threat of being screamed at by my parents, and then being locked in my room with nothing to do was enough of a deterrent for me. Personally I think the cold shower was fine (anyone comparing that to torture needs to get a life). However, I do think the hot sauce was too far. I think with punishments, unless your kid is majorly out of control, then the aim should be for a bit of unpleasentness rather than pain. I am also surprised at people here saying the kids need to live in fear of their parents. Now that is scary. No one should live in fear of anyone. Especially in a family environment. The kids should fear doing something wrong because it is wrong and will be punished. But definatly not fear the parents themselves. Anacdotal evidence I know, but the kids who caused the touble when I was in school were the ones whose parents went way OTT in punishments. Its a cycle. The kids learn off their parents that violence should be used to solve things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techbeck Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Wow, something you and I agree on? People from 40 years or more ago would laugh at the way that children are "supposed to be" raised today. I'm 39 and I certainly remember the days when parents were allowed to discipline their children without fear of busybodies reporting them to the authorities. Ever notice that school shootings, increased teen pregnancies, gang activity, and just about every other problem affecting teens these days didn't really take off until the 80's or 90's, when this PC garbage of not punishing children for bad behavior (and equating punishment with abuse) started? My sons will be 5 and 2 this month, and both of them know that they will be spanked if they do something wrong. They also know that they are loved and that I will always do everthing in my power to protect them from harm. I am only 34, and I agree. Kids were much better behaved when I was growing up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Patriot Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 +1000 All punishment should be in the mind (Go sit in the corner kind of stuff). That type of ignorant "modern" thinking is exactly why children and teens these days have no respect for their parents, authority, or themselves. You raise your kids the way you want to, I'll raise mine my way. Check back with me in 20 years or so and lets compare notes on them and see which ones are responisble members of society and which ones are in prison, on drugs, or simply lazy bums living off of their parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iuerg87yerg879e0rg9erugjer Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 well put roadwarrior, even though i am only 19 i would never ever consider doing this as punishment if i were to have kids no matter the circumstance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techbeck Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 That type of ignorant "modern" thinking is exactly why children and teens these days have no respect for their parents, authority, or themselves. You raise your kids the way you want to, I'll raise mine my way. Check back with me in 20 years or so and lets compare notes on them and see which ones are responisble members of society and which ones are in prison, on drugs, or simply lazy bums living off of their parents. Nice :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WelshBluebird Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 That type of ignorant "modern" thinking is exactly why children and teens these days have no respect for their parents, authority, or themselves. You raise your kids the way you want to, I'll raise mine my way. Check back with me in 20 years or so and lets compare notes on them and see which ones are responisble members of society and which ones are in prison, on drugs, or simply lazy bums living off of their parents. As I said above, in my experience its been the kids who have been subject to violent punishments that are the troublemakers. They learn from their parents that violence should be used to solve things. I'm not saying that all punishments are wrong, but there is a fine line and a lot of parents do take it too far (as in this example IMO). (just to be clear, I'm not saying that you shouldn't punish your kids, but I think it shouldn't be about pain or violence). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Patriot Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I am only 34, and I agree. Kids were much better behaved when I was growing up. Yeah, and I think we were also give much more freedom back then than kids have today. Maybe it was just where I lived, but I remember when I was maybe 10 to 15, my cousin and I used to go exploring in the woods near our house for hours, or go bike riding around the area with my friends, and my parents knew that I wasn't going be off getting into trouble. Hell, these days, if a kid doesn't check in with their parents every 30 minutes, the parents want to call the cops to start a search party. It seems like these days, we have two extremes, "helicopter parents" who think that they need to hover around their kids 24/7 to keep them from any possible harm, and parents who think that any form of discipline beyond a "time out" is unacceptable. Both are equally dangerous methods of parenting that are leading to kids that have no grasp of reality and the world they will one day be expected to live in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
De.Bug Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Actually RoadWarrior I agree with you after reading a bit. Also I don't have kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo003 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 To people who say this is awful, no wonder kids rebel whenever they do. What's going to happen more runaways and more mom shooting there children, more kids killing their parents because they took away his/her game console. Little discipline is necessary even slapping them, though putting hot sauce is little out there. But kid need to learn that there are consequence for their action, and they?ll not be going to their room no TV but something worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Patriot Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 As I said above, in my experience its been the kids who have been subject to violent punishments that are the troublemakers. Yet another person who has been brainwashed by the modern concept that any and all physical forms of punishment are "violent". As I said, look back at history. Most of the problems we have today with teens (and even pre-teens) started back in the 80's and 90's when spankings and other forms of REAL punishment fell out of favor due to PC psychobabble nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbas Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 All I know is that it is a crapshoot. You see it all the time. Bad kids that come from caring loving parents and good kids that come from rude abusive drug addicted parents. I feel that if I set an example, have and enforce rules and love my kid I will at least know I tried my best. There are definately no guarantees when it come to this and that is the scary/disappointing thing. Oh yea, all of you who disagree would be shocked how far an unsuspecting backhand will go. It doesn't even have to be hard and hurt, the shock value alone is the key. Mouth off and be disrespectful and this is what you might get. Better to get a backhand from me than a punch in the face later on in life when you decide to disrespect and lip off to someone because no lesson was ever taught. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WelshBluebird Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Yet another person who has been brainwashed by the modern concept that any and all physical forms of punishment are "violent". As I said, look back at history. Most of the problems we have today with teens (and even pre-teens) started back in the 80's and 90's when spankings and other forms of REAL punishment fell out of favor due to PC psychobabble nonsense. To me (and most other people) hitting your kid hard across the face or using objects to hit them with is violent. That is what I am talking about. I have no problem with spanking a kid on the arse or whatever, but there is a line that you can cross when it does become violent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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