Mom's 18-Point iPhone Rules for Son

[+LogicalApex MVC]

Good to hear you're in favour of child abuse.

Child Abuse? Seriously?

If you'd consider the ability of parents to set boundaries on their children as child abuse then you're going to have to explain what authority a parent has in your world...

Are they able to parent at all :|?

[Shadrack]

Pretty good rules for anyone with a smartphone. Except the porn rule.

And of course this particular audience wants to focus on the fact that she gave him an iPhone instead of what you have deemed as being the superior choice of a smartphone... gosh you guys, do you have to be oh so dramatic in every article?

[Athernar]

Child Abuse? Seriously?

If you'd consider the ability of parents to set boundaries on their children as child abuse then you're going to have to explain what authority a parent has in your world...

Are they able to parent at all :|?

Setting boundaries != Absolutely dominating every aspect of your child's life. Why does the statement that the woman is going extremely overboard have to then translate into wanting the polar opposite?

Do you also not see the irony of this mother purchasing an Apple product, a company forged by Steve Jobs? A man who advocated experimentation with drugs?

[Jim K Global Moderator]

I think it's more likely you just don't have any counter-argument.

But by all means, prove me wrong.

You claim that that the mother is clearly mentally ill and poses a danger to her child. Attack/Claim Lord Method Man supports child abuse. Attack me for simply pointing out how absurd your comments are.

Once again...nothing is wrong with what the mom did. He needs (as does everyone) to learn about responsibility, rules and consequences if those rules are violated. This isn't about her and the dad "dominating every aspect" of his life.

[redfish]

Setting boundaries != Absolutely dominating every aspect of your child's life. Why does the statement that the woman is going extremely overboard have to then translate into wanting the polar opposite?

Do you also not see the irony of this mother purchasing an Apple product, a company forged by Steve Jobs? A man who advocated experimentation with drugs?

My instinct is if she doesn't trust her kid with a smartphone she should postpone giving one to him. Thatis a boundary. But she keeps referring to him as an intelligent, polite, ethical person. Either she believes what she's saying or she doesn't.

[Athernar]

Once again...nothing is wrong with what the mom did. He needs (as does everyone) to learn about responsibility, rules and consequences if those rules are violated.

Oh please, the boy is 13 years of age, not 3. This has absolutely nothing to do with teaching him about rules and responsibility/consequences, those are fundamentals that are taught to infants. Remember potty training? Yeah, that's all about responsibility.

This is 100% a projection of control onto the son by the mother, stifling him at an age where independence is important.

Because of these "rules", the son may now be fearful of taking photographs. Scratch off professional photographer as a possible future career. All in the name of "rules".

My instinct is if she doesn't trust her kid with a smartphone she should postpone giving one to him. Thatis a boundary. But she keeps referring to him as an intelligent, polite, ethical person. Either she believes what she's saying or she doesn't.

Agreed. She clearly recognises that her son is no lout, but continues to treat him as such. The contradiction has control freak written all over it.

[Boz]

The problem is.. if this lady raised her kid properly to begin with, she really wouldn't have to impose all of these rules to begin with.. These are mostly thing you teach your kids as they grow up, and certainly can't be taught through something like conditional rules through a phone present.

[Shadrack]

The problem is.. if this lady raised her kid properly to begin with, she really wouldn't have to impose all of these rules to begin with.. These are mostly thing you teach your kids as they grow up, and certainly can't be taught through something like conditional rules through a phone present.

After reading this, I can't help but think how much smoother the times when my wife had to take away the cell phone from her daughter who was abusing it in whatever way if the rules were spelled out like this. Most of all it is so he acknowledges very strongly that his mother can take it away from him.

[Billus]

I'd hand it back and get myself a feature phone if I were ever subjected to these rules by my mother. Sure there some good intent but it just seems another way of her controlling her son and having some leverage. Judging by the story, he does seem to get enough allowance to pay for any phone damage, so surely he can just get his own phone.

In a way, this is not really teaching him how to use his phone in the real world. If he had a job, he'd want to have his phone on him 24/7 in case his employer calls in wanting him to start earlier or to give him more shifts. More so, in the real world there is no one who will tell you what you can and can't do with your phone and you are limited only to what your phone plan limits you to do (and of course your ability to pay for such luxuries). Surely it would be a better lesson to teach him to save his money and pay for his own phone and bills to teach him both personal and fiscal responsibility. You can't nanny your son for the rest of your/his life.

[remixedcat]

having that phone at school is a good idea becuase if you got an abusive teacher you can record it and save yourself. I've had that happen a ton of times where I wish I had recorded the crap becuase I would have helped 2 friends as well as myself.

[CrashG]

I can see it from both sides: she's trying to be a responsible parent. Based on some of the rules she's done a fairly good job and most of the "rules" are common courtesy that some (both young and old) don't have these days. That being said, there's a song that comes to mind:

You're underneath my skin

You hate the way I wear my clothes

You hate my friends and where we go

I see you in the shadows

You think you know what's best for me

You hate everything you see in me

Have you looked in a mirror?

Hey, just whose life is this anyway?

You tell me how to live but who asked you anyway

Hey, just whose life is this anyway?

MEGADETH - WHOSE LIFE (IS IT ANYWAYS?)

Don't drive your kid to get a restraining order. :p

The more you (try to) clamp down on them, the more they'll rebel or go buck wild once out of your (perceived) oppressive grasp.

[KingCracker]

Well its the parents phone, their rules, buy your own phone and then you can do what you want with it. Same applies to the home, parents rules don't like it get out, get your own place. To young to do that? That's to bad.

[Xerxes]

To be honest, I don't even know why kids even need a mobile phone? I never had a mobile till I was in uni! different times perhaps (I grew up in the late 80s/90s) but still, you see your friends 90%+ of the time face to face at school everyday and there is always the landline. Maybe I'm just getting too cynical in my old age :laugh: kids just seem to get it so easy these days... :p

[KingCracker]

To be honest, I don't even know why kids even need a mobile phone? I never had a mobile till I was in uni! different times perhaps (I grew up in the late 80s/90s) but still, you see your friends 90%+ of the time face to face at school everyday and there is always the landline. Maybe I'm just getting too cynical in my old age :laugh: kids just seem to get it so easy these days... :p

Hell I didn't even have a phone till like 4 months ago and i'm 30 almost 31 lol.

[Brian Miller]

I thought Jews didn't celebrate Christmas.

[mudslag]

Common sense has to be learnt, like everything else, it doesn't just drop into you.

most of the rules seems sensible enough, not sure about some of them like no phone at school, though it does make sense, you don't really need a phone at school anyway.

For all the people who claim they would hand it back, seriously what's wrong with some rules. kids need rules, kids without rules without fail always go bad in some way.

This plus no 13 yr old getting a Fraking $400+ phone would hand it back over those rules, anyone here saying they would is full of it.

[Praetor]

i guess from the amount of this posts that i see here the majority of you guys don't have a child. Rules, common sense and respect have all to be learned. Kids, not only this days but since ever, have to be taught correctly to become fully responsible and complete grown adults, not crippled ones (and i mean crippled as in lacking social skills, bad attitude, lacking respect for parents and authorities, no common sense or worse, no morals and so on).

[mudslag]

And when a teenager makes the news for doing something stupid, some of the first reactions are, where were the parents and why didn't they teach them properly. Now that a parent is shown doing the right thing, it's what a crappy parent.

[argonite]

And when a teenager makes the news for doing something stupid, some of the first reactions are, where were the parents and why didn't they teach them properly. Now that a parent is shown doing the right thing, it's what a crappy parent.

Why do you assume one extreme of parenting is better than the other? Full control or none. It's a spectrum.

Her rules can be neatly summarized as:

- Respect your body

- Respect your peers

- Repsect your parents

- Respect your future

Or simply: Respect. Which needn't be "taught" through a list if you raise a child right. Micromanaging a child is a bad idea and will only teach them to be aware of specific actions in specific cases, without developing their own philosophy on life or knowing when respect should not be given.

[mudslag]

Why do you assume one extreme of parenting is better than the other? Full control or none. It's a spectrum.

Her rules can be neatly summarized as:

- Respect your body

- Respect your peers

- Repsect your parents

- Respect your future

Or simply: Respect. Which needn't be "taught" through a list if you raise a child right. Micromanaging a child is a bad idea and will only teach them to be aware of specific actions in specific cases, without developing their own philosophy on life or knowing when respect should not be given.

I don't by any measure, what I do assume is that, for the most part, each parent knows more how their kids are then anyone else. If a parent feels the need to lay down ground rules for them to get a phone or anything else for that matter, then it's more then likely best for that kid. Some kids need more defined rules then others, some kids don't need any rules at all and some kids it wont matter what rules you lay out they'll do what they want regardless. Just because you think simple is best doesn't equate that for her and her kid.

[Athernar]

I don't by any measure, what I do assume is that, for the most part, each parent knows more how their kids are then anyone else. If a parent feels the need to lay down ground rules for them to get a phone or anything else for that matter, then it's more then likely best for that kid. Some kids need more defined rules then others, some kids don't need any rules at all and some kids it wont matter what rules you lay out they'll do what they want regardless. Just because you think simple is best doesn't equate that for her and her kid.

So if a parent decides to, lets say, force their religion on their child - you would of course be in full support of that parent in keeping with the above?

[mudslag]

So if a parent decides to, lets say, force their religion on their child - you would of course be in full support of that parent in keeping with the above?

Like how parents do that already?

[Athernar]

Like how parents do that already?

Answer the question. The actions of the parents are irrelevant to my query.

Would you or would you not be in support of parents forcing their religion on a child?

[mudslag]

Answer the question. The actions of the parents are irrelevant to my query.

Would you or would you not be in support of parents forcing their religion on a child?

Bit of a stretch comparing forcing their kids to go to church where kids don't have much say and having a list of rules in order to get a $400+ cell phone that the kid wants by choice. I don't have a say either way in the matter for other people's kids. But as a parent currently myself, I would not force my kids to go to church nor would I keep them from going if they wanted to learn about it. They would have the option to choose for themselves. As for giving them a iphone or what ever, Id prob consider similar rules once I see how they are when they reach that age, which I have a while on.

[Athernar]

Bit of a stretch comparing forcing their kids to go to church where kids don't have much say and having a list of rules in order to get a $400+ cell phone that the kid wants by choice.

Not really, religion is oft-touted as a moral code - a set of rules/guidance. A devout Christian may look to their faith / the Bible to provide such "education" for their child. (E.g. "You may have your iPhone but you must study the Bible app for 1 hour every day")

Are you going to answer the question though?