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techbeck

Just trusting your kids will have a much better effect on them if you ask me. Let them be responsible instead of trying to act as a firewall for your kids.

How many kids do you know? Trust is earned, it isnt given. Responsibility is taught which the mother is doing. Maybe when he gets older and proves he can be trusted, then the rules will lighten up a little. But he is 13 years old and with all the new crap going on today and ways kids are getting hurt, parents should keep a watch, always. I am not saying be intrusive or interfere with their lives, just keep an eye open. You never stop being a parent.

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Ambroos

Think of what you were doing at age 13. Anything you think you shouldn't have been doing?

Not really, no?

Well perhaps it's a good thing I'm not planning on having kids - ever.

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Rippleman

Not really, no?

haha, nothing you don't want anyone to know about! fair enough :)
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Ambroos

edit: Actually, nevermind this post

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remixedcat

I would rather have my kids addicted to the internet rather then going out and making asses of themselves and getting arrested for drugs or destroying property or stuff like that if they get bored.... the same as video games... rather have them take that agression out in the game rather then RL.

Also if you make sure your kids grow up in a decent area then you won't have as much to worry about.... if there's lots of stuff for kids to do offline then they would not need to be so hooked on the internet.

my area has jack for kids to do and not much for young adults either.... this is why there are so many "damn gamers" here. if people would actually make more things to do for younger people than the problems would be solved.... but people in my area are so freaking jaded and they are so ingrained in thier heads that "don't talk to strangers" "being nice to people is not cool" "happiness is for fags" kinda mentality.... or they think everything is fine when it's not becuase they have been so programmed to not speak up for themselves or resolve problems. this is a HUGE problem in the appalachias region of the US.

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Richteralan

how many of the kids have your unconditional love where you would die or kill for them, or go to jail for life for them if need be? That's the point that is unexplainable. I repeat, you will NEVER know that feeling until it happens to you no matter how you say or feel that you do.

Having unconditional love is exactly what makes parents very subjective about their kids.

Not saying it's a bad thing obviously, but it is exactly the thing prevents parents to think objectively about their kids.

I am not Jesus so I can't give unconditional love to all the kids I'm dealing with. They are all special to me equally. But obviously, when you work with so many kids, you see something their parents don't (you are dealing with your own kids only).

Also, frankly, that feeling doesn't mean you are a good parents, either.

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techbeck

All kids do stupid stuff and as long as they don't end up in jail or on drugs, let them do what they want to do.

My parents let me do whatever I wanted as long as my grades were high, I was in clubs/sports, and got a job when I got to high school. That's all that should ever be needed.

And how old are you? What was ok for you to do is not the same these days it the vastly changing world we live in. When I was young, personal PCs were just becoming popular, pagers were the main stream, and cell phones were big bags you lugged around or a hard wired car phone. Now with the internet and hte MANY ways kids are taken advantage of and all he temptations, parents need to keep a closer eye and kids need to prove they are smart and can be trusted.

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Astra.Xtreme

And how old are you? What was ok for you to do is not the same these days it the vastly changing world we live in. When I was young, personal PCs were just becoming popular, pagers were the main stream, and cell phones were big bags you lugged around or a hard wired car phone. Now with the internet and hte MANY ways kids are taken advantage of and all he temptations, parents need to keep a closer eye and kids need to prove they are smart and can be trusted.

I'm 24... And no, parents don't need to put their kids on a leash and question everything they do. Trying to parent a kid in a purely preventative way will not work, and will probably have adverse effects. A big part of it is reactive and it should be expected that kids will make mistakes. Obviously don't promote it, but don't try to prevent everything either. A huge part of learning is by making mistakes. And I already listed how a kid can prove they can be trusted. Get good grades, stay involved academically or athletically, and learn personal responsibility by doing so. A good parent doesn't hold their kid's hand though all of adolescence.

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techbeck

I'm 24... And no, parents don't need to put their kids on a leash and question everything they do. Trying to parent a kid in a purely preventative way will not work, and will probably have adverse effects. A big part of it is reactive and it should be expected that kids will make mistakes. Obviously don't promote it, but don't try to prevent everything either. A huge part of learning is by making mistakes. And I already listed how a kid can prove they can be trusted. Get good grades, stay involved academically or athletically, and learn personal responsibility by doing so. A good parent doesn't hold their kid's hand though all of adolescence.

Yes, all kids make mistakes but its up to the parents to educate their kids an teach them responsibility....so they earn trust. And some kids do not need much supervision, some need a lot. Cannot taylor a broad set of rules/recommendations to all. Each kid is different. And a parent will hold a kid's hand as long as it takes to make sure their kid is brought up right. Until 18, the kid is the parents responsibility and the parent can be held liable for their kids actions. But a lot of parents do not care or are to busy/lazy to be bothered by parenting.

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n_K

A couple lesbian partner I know are hilarious, they won't let their kids have ANY presents unless they've opened them to check their contents, their kids are both teenagers now and if you give them even a DVD of doctor who the kids never get it.

We're waging how many years it is until both kids revolt, tell the couple to **** off and move out, my guess is around 20.

The mother in this just reminds me exactly of them.

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Praetor

A couple lesbian partner I know are hilarious, they won't let their kids have ANY presents unless they've opened them to check their contents, their kids are both teenagers now and if you give them even a DVD of doctor who the kids never get it.

We're waging how many years it is until both kids revolt, tell the couple to **** off and move out, my guess is around 20.

The mother in this just reminds me exactly of them.

thats a bit of extreme, no? Probably something happened so they have that attitude. Also this mother settled rules so her kid could grown as a functional adult. i know couple of teens about that age (12, 13 years) and some young adults that are completely addicted to tech (always checking their facebook, tweets and so on) on their mobile phones. They even text SMS without seeing them, that's crazy!

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evo_spook

She could have just bought the kid a basic dumbphone.

but the attention ###### wouldn't have got her 5 minutes of fame

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primexx

talk about poor parenting. instead of laying them out as rules "imposed from above" they should have sat down with the kid and explained the rationael behind them and get the kid to adopt those rules himself, not because "mom made me" but because most of these rules are a damn good idea in themselves. i bet you it'd be a lot more effective and actually teaches the kid something.

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Richteralan

but the attention ###### wouldn't have got her 5 minutes of fame

She probably spent more than 5 minutes to come up with that list..

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