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Granted. You will now be transported naked to the middle of Alaska. Enjoy the view.

I wish I had a cold beer.

Granted, you get an ice cold beer, but... it's not a twistable cap and you don't have a bottle opener and no neighbor in site since you live beside me in Alaska.

I wish I had a fire to warm my naked self in alaska.

Granted. But that fire is the body heat of shakey ( :p ) who is no longer a homophobe but is definately a homosexual.

I wish I owned a private jet.

Granted, but it cannot fly (or get a street license)

I wish my stupid DSL was faster :(

Granted, but they arrive in a less than satisfactory condition (I confess I don't know what you mean by LPs)

I wish for the ability of Technopathy. By definition, I have over-ruling control of all computerized devices in the world.

Granted, but then one night while sleeping you have a nightmare and all the machines go crazy and end up killing you and everyone else in the world.

I wish I knew how I ended up in the whole homophobe/homosexual debate lol.

Granted, but you find out that you are neither and are not-of-this-earth!

Granted, but they arrive in a less than satisfactory condition (I confess I don't know what you mean by LPs)

LP = Long Play, short for a Record!

I wish Steve Jobs all the best (go on, I dare ya!)

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