deuz Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 depends on situiation....but y the fk would u ask ppl on a forum bout it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macstorm Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 NO can't imagine anyone can even doubt here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smartbuddy_82 Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 What she loses??: She will lose a person that loves her so much, cares for her so much, could do anything to see her happy etc.. Big loss for her isn't it?? What u lose??: U lose a person who does not know what love & trust is, who does not think that she is married and its a bond of love and unconditional trust. Moreover a person who betrayed ur trust. Dont u think losing such a person is the best thing and its not a loss but a big gain? I said my point man.... If I was u: I would kick her out of my house and life and would also expose the truth of her in front of everyone. So that she realises her mistake, begs and pleads to say sorry and still u kick her and say "Get Lost" I am sorry if i sound harsh, but I hate cheaters and people who betray and break someones trust... :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
((Ecko)) Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 The fact that your debating on a second chance shows that you have not learned how evil a beast the female human being can be. And this is probably why she cheated on you. In a perfect world and the movies, women say what they mean, do what they say and are fully trust worthy for the most part. In real life they are completely guided by how they feel. Half the time what they say is not what they mean. But us, most of what we do in life, we do it for women. We get houses, carreers, nice cars just to impress our women. They however are motivated to satisfy only themselves. Women want a man!, giving a woman a second chance is not something a man does. She knew that you would be debating giving her a second chance before she cheated on you. And this is why she probably cheated on you. Another thing about human nature is that, change is very hard, next to impossible infact. This is why we have rehab centers for such trivial things like gambling. So once a cheater always will be.Society may have changed a lot, but just a few years ago we were cave men. Our DNA was the same for the most part back then as it is now. Back then the biggest a$$hole man was the one who got all the women. Its the same now, only societies views conflict with that. You are told being nice makes a woman appreciate you and like you more but it is not like that, thats in the movies. Call me ignorant for the generalizations, but like i said, women dont want a nice man. You probably have been that...so she went out looking for a thrill. Also another thing, theres no such thing as the "one", people fall in love and out...the goal of life is the pursuit of happiness. IF happiness is not between her legs anymore as it once was, dont fight a losing battle till your too old for any woman to take you seriously. Live now while you can...go out and keep looking, dont give that heffer or any other a chance to ever stabb your back again. You think people like brad pitt get girls because of their looks? No they are a$$holes. He acts like an a$$hole to them, and they love it. I know tons of girls who come to me and ask for advice about how their bfs are being mean to them and i say "leave him" but they say "but i can't ive tried, i love him". Thats what you are right now and why shes not attracted to you. I bet you if you said F**k u she would be begging you to come back so fast. But look at you rignt now...you are like a woman. Posting on message boards n sh*t about being cheated on. Women are attracted to masculinity. You may think im radical but thats far from the truth, I love women more than anything on this planet probably. I developed this perspective from many trial and errors. So next time you love a woman, put your foot down and be a man. Sense when things are not going right and have a back up girl way before she has a back up guy. Wow.....end of essay. :shifty: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanz Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 play her game - take ur back, wine and dine her do ur bussiness then chuck that hoe on the street, nuffin like revenge. Bros b4 hoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imtoomuch Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 No way in hell! Once a cheater, always a cheater. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
am7 Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 could you look yourself in the mirror if you took her back? Woudl you ever wonder if shes cheating again when your not home? Ask yourself those questions and either way youll get your answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIII Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 That is why you should choose carefully the one you will live with till the rest of your life. Don't be hasty, marriage is not a strong bond, love and trust are what keeps a family together. You should sit down and talk with your wife about that situation. Is she being honest with you? Is she being regretful for what she did? If she didn't show any regret, that means your marriage is over. You have to accept it and move on. I know it is hard for the beginning but you will get used to it. Time will make you forget about what happened. Next time if you want to marry another woman, be cautious and make sure that she will love and respect you till the rest of your life, avoid advanturous love or love because of sexual desires-those won't last long. It is sad to hear your situation but it is time to move on. Good luck, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsan Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Have you been cheating yourself ? What made her cheat you? if its for fun or adventure, its should be over. if the guy somehow traped her or maybe you are not fulfilling her sexual desires. you need to improve yourself. ask her frankly. but politly. We are humans. we make mistakes. if she learns from them good. other wise. world is a big place. you will find more women with loyalty and integrity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kronik Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 do yourself a favour and ditch her ASAP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smigit Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I'm unsure. I'd like to think I could take back someone but I dont think I could If you cant let your wife go to a party alone, go to lunch with a coworker or other such things without worrying if shes cheating then I think you should move on and cut your losses. It will take a lot of effort on her part to win back your trust but no matter what she does you may never accept her for what she was, for the person you fell in love with to begin with. Yes, some people can move on and if you can honestly forget it and move on and you still love her as much as always then stay with her. If in doubt at all I suggest moving on. Even the slightest bit of doubt/concern you have now will be there in years to come and fester and even if she hasnt done anything it will always be there in your mind, biting at your heels. I'm sorry man, in the end its really your choice and probably the hardest one you will ever make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lofi Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 "i got enough on her threw emails phone records to get away with giving her nothing" OWNED Let me ask you this, do you have any doubts that she will cheat again? Even the slightest amount of doubt you have will eat away at you until it changes you completely for the worst. Do not do this to yourself. Kick >> Curb >> Don't look back. lylesback2: Your comment about not getting women has no merit with me. I'm a personal trainer and a comp sci major. I'm so sexy (rubs nips), if I were to post my picture on the forums I would have no doubt that I would turn everyone gay. And for the people that are gay, just be thankful that you wouldn't have to endure the whole closet thing again. (I'm joking but not about the sexy part *rub nips* :blush: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurë Veteran Posted December 15, 2005 Veteran Share Posted December 15, 2005 Alot of people have replied to this thread when they clearly know nothing about marriage, love, relationships etc....lots of idealistic little kids....not that I'm an expert! Also, many are judging this woman when they know nothing about her or her reasons for cheating. I think what she has done is disgraceful and I can't see how/why you would want to stay with her. I think it is very hard for a relationship to survive cheating because cheating tends to be caused by some huge flaw/problem in the relationship and of course it destroys all the trust. If you want to try again and feel you can truly forgive her, and she really wants to try again, marriage counselling would be a good idea. You need to find out why it happened. Then you can work out what changes you would need to make to stop it happening again and see if they're worth it. (I don't mean locking her up!) Whatever you do, don't just take her back with out some serious talking and "soul searching" first because it won't work and she will think she can walk all over you. If you don't think you can forgive and move on and rebuild trust, don't waste your time trying to keep the marriage going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Montage Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 No Second chances are excuses for taking the easy route and not taking action. You give a second chance, then you do it again. Downward spiral! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardsim7 Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 My girlfriend cheated on me, problem is, I was blind, I believed anything she said, so I gave her another chance, BIG MISTAKE she did it again. Screw that, if a girl ever cheats on me again, her ass is on the curb, and whoever she cheats with will be hospitalised. -Rich- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brotherrabbit Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 well if your married, TECHNICALLY you declared your love to your wife with the follow sentence somewhere "... in sickness and in health, in good times and bad" bad times ..... there' always a reason for cheating. find the reason and get rid of it .. if it's love, than love will prevail if it's not, then, well, why the hell did you get married in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sub Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I'm going to echo most of the comments here, although mine might be a little harsh. One a cheater, always a cheater. This dude was probley in YOUR bed, sleeping with your wife? Is that who you want to kiss? When you kiss your wife from now on, you'll be kissing this white trash dude. If she is so low to stoop to sleeping with a manager, then you need to wake up and smell the coffee dude. Dont blame this on yourself, this is not your problem. But run away as fast as you can. I've seen far too many people who cheat and cant stop. She broke the ice. Ask yourself this questions...Do you really want to be on your boat for 3 days at a time wondering what the hell your wife is doing, and who she is sleeping with? As long as your with her it will always be on your mind. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Dont count your blessing, just pack your **** and leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devilotX Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I can actually chime in here... I was married on June 20th 1998, and about 2 years into the relationship, my wife had an affair, I gave her another shot A year later she did it again, we separated and filed for divorce, went to therapy, reconsiled a year later she did it again, and yes... we did the therapy again... Then, all seemed well until a buisness trip happened and when I got back, I found out from my cousin that she was doing it again. thats the last time, I'm no longer married, having been divorced since June of this year, I've learned my lesson, I'll never give anyone a second chance, they don't learn that way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edbro Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 What in the heck are you asking here for? Don't you realize what the average age of Neowin members is? See a counselor, mentor, clergyman, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RightfulSpire Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 Have you been cheating yourself ? What made her cheat you? if its for fun or adventure, its should be over. if the guy somehow traped her or maybe you are not fulfilling her sexual desires. you need to improve yourself. ask her frankly. but politly. We are humans. we make mistakes. if she learns from them good. other wise. world is a big place. you will find more women with loyalty and integrity. no i havent been cheating, i work and come home, but we drifted we became two seperate people because we passed each other during the day, i would come home just to see her going to work, she says i wasnt making her happy and i may not have, i dont know, its gotten so deep now its hard to talk thru it. i do love her, alot. can i forget about it, no never, would i like to of course. she says this guy makes her happy who am i to question that, i am not the one to say no i make you happier than him...i know this guy wil crush her, he is young and doing this for a thrill, am i suppose to stan by and watch that happen to someone i love, i think my whole problem is i still want to be there for her i have never been one for breaking promises. and i have talked to alot of people they all say what yall do, its all mixed, and as for my choice, heck i dont even knwo what my choice is and dont knwo when i will or if can even make one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
error404ts Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Alot of people have replied to this thread when they clearly know nothing about marriage, love, relationships etc....lots of idealistic little kids....not that I'm an expert! Also, many are judging this woman when they know nothing about her or her reasons for cheating. I think what she has done is disgraceful and I can't see how/why you would want to stay with her. I think it is very hard for a relationship to survive cheating because cheating tends to be caused by some huge flaw/problem in the relationship and of course it destroys all the trust. If you want to try again and feel you can truly forgive her, and she really wants to try again, marriage counselling would be a good idea. You need to find out why it happened. Then you can work out what changes you would need to make to stop it happening again and see if they're worth it. (I don't mean locking her up!) Whatever you do, don't just take her back with out some serious talking and "soul searching" first because it won't work and she will think she can walk all over you. If you don't think you can forgive and move on and rebuild trust, don't waste your time trying to keep the marriage going. "Cheating" leaves alot to the imagination as far as a word goes. It's also open to interpretation - is cheating kissing someone else, holding hands with someone else, having an online (but not physical) relationship with someone else, imagining sex with someone else, or is it doing the dirty deed with another partner? different people will have different ideas, and different levels of acceptance here. In a marriage there is generally a time of separation required before filing for divorce - in VA the time apart must be 6 months if you don't have kids or own property together, and a year if you do. That separation time should (ideally) be used to figure things out between the two of you and go through counseling, dating others or each other again, and essentially getting your bearings and figuring out if you're compatible. The time that it takes to heal could be endless... half of the time (statistically) the healing part fails and the relationship ends. But if you give it a chance then I believe that trust comes in time, and things can work out. Sometimes that doesn't happen until after a divorce is finalized, however, but that still doesn't stop you from having a strong relationship with your ex. Some lessons are learned in the hardest of ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
an4rew Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 I'm not married yet, but for me it would depend. If she cheated on me, i would seriously question if she really did love me. Maybe its for the best to split for a bit, go out and make myself feel better by cheating on her then we will see :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cvrt7.62Ghst Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 If I had kids: Yes, for, and only for, the sake of the kids. If I didn't have kids: No, later girl. I need trust in a close relationship. After something like that I coudn't trust her to not do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cchasem Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 i caught my wife cheating, thing is i love her, should i give her a second chance? Dude, I'm really sorry to hear that.. I know how it feels (sorta) and I know it sucks. There's not really any right or wrong answer regarding giving her another chance or not, it really just depends on how you feel. You've gotta remember though, although you may love her, if she cheated on you, more than likely she doesnt feel the same way about you. :-\ So maybe you should try your best to move on. On the other hand, maybe it was a 1 time mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Many couples have recovered from something like this happening in their relationship, and sometimes it even makes them closer. If you do give her a chance, you've gotta remember that you can't hold this over her head forever, and in order for your relationship to work again, someday you've gotta trust her again. If you dont think you'd be able to do that then you should move on. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. *hug* What? Guys gotta hug sometimes right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
error404ts Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Good luck with whatever you decide to do. *hug* What? Guys gotta hug sometimes right? Ha ha... that's right. Show the guy some love. My heart goes out to you, too. Best of luck to ya.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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